28 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 7,100 comments

Kids are Sponges

“Little kids are sponges.”

You hear it all the time, and it’s true. My son’s vocabulary increases every day, and most of what he’s learning he gets right from Mom and Dad, such as his first “curse” word, the relatively innocuous “dammit!” Needless to say, we’ve had to become a lot more careful about the words we use. It’s a bit of a pain.

But there’s a flip side to that coin. Sure, he parrots a lot of stuff we don’t even realize we’ve said around him, or don’t necessarily want him to be saying, but we can also train him to provide some entertainment. For example…

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Son

Weeks ago, I wrote a facetious post about why I hate my son. Despite the title, it shouldn’t have taken long for most readers to realize the post wasn’t about hating my son at all, but was actually about how he’s changed my life and why that’s okay.

But since there are so many literal-minded people out there who got upset at the suggestion, facetious or not, that I hate my son, and also dislike the fact that I put such language out there for him to one day discover, I thought – even at the risk of over-boarding on cheese – I should lay it out as sincerely as possible.

I mean, it is his birthday after all!

24 Aug

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 2 comments

Parenting Skills I Wish I Didn’t Have

When you become a parent, you suddenly need to learn a whole new set of skills.

You’ll be doing things you never thought possible, things for which your pre-baby life never prepared you. The good news is you’ll pick them up pretty quickly. The bad news is that this particular set of skills changes you. It’s impossible to be a halfway decent mom or dad without becoming a slightly lamer person. The evolution is both impressive and soul-crushing.

Many of the skills I’ve acquired are quite useful and, without them, I’d be adrift as a parent. Skills like diaper-changing and baby-holding and swaddling and so on.

Unfortunately, many more of them are skills I wish I hadn’t acquired. Because while they may make me a better parent, they also take me further and further away from my pre-parent self.

07 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning No comments

Children Are Stupid

I was going to start this post by bragging about how smart my kid is, how he’s clearly a genius, blah blah blah… but I realized that even if that were true (it is), you probably would’t believe me.

Such a thing is both difficult to prove (how do you get a kid that can’t even sit still without being strapped down to take an IQ test?) and nearly impossible to demonstrate (the only thing my son does on command is dance, and by “does on command” I mean he will start dancing any minute now whether we say anything or not).

Besides, we all know children are stupid.

Homeless or Toddler?

My wife called me today to alert me to the latest adorable thing my son did. Are you ready for this?!

She was getting him ready for his bath, and he decided that the moment right AFTER his diaper came off was the perfect moment to urinate. So urinate he did, all over the floor. Then he slipped in his own urine. And fell. Into his own urine.

SUPER CUTE, right? The kind of thing you’d expect to see an adorable homeless man do while you’re waiting for the subway. I’m actually a little shocked I haven’t seen that happen. I live in New York!

But toddlers and the homeless have a lot of other behavior in common. So much so that it can be hard to tell them apart.

Let’s try.

Read more about Homeless or Toddler? …

Dad and Buried

Category: Lists

Kids are Sponges

Like this:

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Son

Like this:

Parenting Skills I Wish I Didn’t Have

Like this:

Children Are Stupid

Like this:

Homeless or Toddler?

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: