Of Allergies and Effigies

Of Allergies and Effigies

Every Spring, for the past two years, I have been faced with a crippling bout of allergies. I never really had them before, so their onset is a tad confusing. I’ve lived in NYC for more than four years now, in the same neighborhood, so as much as this Red Sox fan would love to, I can’t blame the Big Apple.

I’d like to blame the trees, but Marky Mark made that seem too ridiculous. I’d also like to blame The Trees, but my days of listening to Rush were long gone well before the allergies set in.

So after a brief, slightly ill-considered, largely well-inebriated period of elimination, I’ve come to a startling conclusion: I’m allergic to my son.

Read more about Of Allergies and Effigies

The Dawn of the Daycare

The Dawn of the Daycare

I have a confession to make: my wife is a stay-at-home mom.

She has been home with our son since the day he was born. It was a choice we made together, for a few reasons, not least of which were the facts that a) in our neck of the woods, the cost of daycare pretty much negates that second paycheck and b) we don’t trust other people. From the start we’d made the decision to forego a nanny, which are popular extravagance here in Park Slope, as we weren’t ready to hand over daily care of our son to a stranger. So we figured we’d go the first year or two on just my income, especially since it was important to us that we were home with the kid ourselves.

At this point my wife has been at home with her son every day for almost a year and a half. And we’re happy with that decision.

However…

Read more about The Dawn of the Daycare

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

When I was a kid, whenever I had a nightmare my parents would tell me to think about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, since they are associated with happiness and fun. Unfortunately, I took that advice, and for a few years was beset by terrifying nightmares wherein a homicidal Santa or a psychopathic Easter Bunny attempted to murder me.

I no longer fear Santa, but am still occasionally faced with an instance where something/someone that is usually considered friendly, or, at worst, utterly innocuous, fills me with dread.

This Christmas, that something/someone is Elmo. (see Part 1 here.)

Read more about Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 2 (To Us)

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 1 (To Him)

Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 1 (To Him)

So this weekend we celebrated our son’s “second” Christmas, but since, if memory serves, he spent his actual first Christmas crying and pooping and sleeping with nary any clue of what all the fuss was about, this was more like his real actual first Christmas. And being that he’s only 15 months old, we weren’t even sure this one would count.

But we were wrong.

The kid took to Christmas like Tim Tebow takes to scruff, or Tim Tebow takes to evangelism, or Tim Tebow takes to not being able to play quarterback. (See Part 2 here.)

Read more about Dear God, What Have We Done? – Part 1 (To Him)

e9afe31c5a7577fdf2fc8f15bd5008856c363ba4adcd73a03f