26 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Health No comments

A Spoonful of Television

Last week, I wrote about my son’s need to use a nebulizer when his chest gets congested – from his allergies or from a cold.

It’s not the sexiest rig in the world (unless you find Immortan Joe sexy, and if so: YOU’RE SCARING ME), and the first few times we had to put it to use, it was a little freaky. And he wasn’t a lot into it.

Luckily, we discovered that the length of a commercial-free TV show on Netflix matches almost perfectly with the length of the nebulizer treatment. Letting him watch a show while taking his medicine became a convenient solution.

At least, it was convenient, before my son got clued in.

20 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs One comment

The Chart of Diminishing Returns

Kids have an endless capacity for repetition.

I dare you to count how many times yours say “no” or “why” over the course of an afternoon, or how often they want to watch another episode of “Octonauts” or “Rescue Bots”. Sometimes even the same episode!

Children just don’t seem to get sick of things. Parents, on the other hand…

29 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs No comments

Supermessy

Today’s Wordless Wednesday (with some words) revolves around my son’s current obsession: superheroes.

He’s constantly pretending to be one and frequently enlists me in exciting battles, during which he’s usually wearing a costume and always jumping on my private parts.

While I may occasionally sport a mask or two during these games, he almost always wears a cape.

He has a lot of capes.

The Guide to Hungover Parenting

Last night, we had our neighbors over for a few drinks. Somewhere between my third and fourth beer, I forgot that I have a kid and a job and am thirty-eight, so I had three or four more beers. Now I want to die.

Thankfully, today is Friday, so I’m at work instead of sitting at home trying to occupy a four-year-old who wants me to pretend to be a firetruck-slash-dinosaur and get on my knees and chase him around the house all while holding my head and trying not to throw up.

Hungover parenting is not a lot of fun.

01 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 2 comments

How to Prank Your Kids on April Fools Day

April Fools’ Day is idiotic.

For one thing, most people – in desperate attempts to join in but without the wherewithal or imagination to do something elaborate enough to be deemed an actual prank – just end up lying instead, which isn’t exactly an April 1st phenomenon. After all, you don’t need to prep for that, or wait for the perfect date; all you need to tell a lie is a functioning mouth and low morals!

Besides, actually formalizing and setting aside a day for pranking people defeats the entire purpose; even the least skeptical person on earth cloaks themselves in disbelief on April 1st, preferring to play it safe than be played for a fool.

These days, about the only people you can get away with fooling on April Fools’ Day are little kids. And I happen to have one of those, so let’s get on with it.

Dad and Buried

Category: Movies

A Spoonful of Television

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The Chart of Diminishing Returns

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Supermessy

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The Guide to Hungover Parenting

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How to Prank Your Kids on April Fools Day

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