Raising A Champion

Raising A Champion

On the eve of my son’s birth, I’ve been thinking a lot about my parenting style, and which lessons I want to impart to my heir. Basically, WWCTD: What Would Coach Taylor Do?

There are a lot of horrible children out there, and most of the blame obviously lies with videogames and Marilyn Manson and Avatar-related depression. But some of it lies with their parents. I am not going to be one of those parents whose kid is a loser. My son is going to dominate. But he can’t do it on his own, so I’ve come up with a list of ten values that will serve as a guideline for him as he grows up.

To make sure he toes the line and doesn’t defy me, I’ve included a video counterpoint with each lesson on the list. That way, should he feel himself straying, he’ll be able to recognize the signs. Check out the list after the jump.

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Not My Son!

Not My Son!

Wow. And here I am, worried about dropping my kid when this specimen clearly illustrates that there are far worse problems with which to contend. Or maybe HE was dropped on HIS head…. Baby Rule: No Gwar. Baby Rule: No Jerry Springer. Baby Rule: No believing in things without my permission. Baby Rule: No whatever-that-hairdo-is-called.Read more about Not My Son![…]

Top 10 Things I Don’t Know About Babies

Top 10 Things I Don’t Know About Babies

With my first child due this September, it seems that almost every day I learn something new and terrifying about babies and their care. Having grown up with two childless older brothers and no cousins in my life, I have had extremely limited exposure to infants. The depth of my ignorance is astounding – so astounding, in fact, I thought I’d post a list about it.

Be aware that this list contains only a small sample of the things I don’t know about how to care for my offspring, and that even a list of the things I don’t know I don’t know would likely dwarf it.

Enjoy after the jump.

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Nobody Puts Baby On the F Train

Nobody Puts Baby On the F Train

Apparently you’re not supposed to take a baby on the subway for a solid two months after they’re born. Not because their fragile heads might bounce off from all the herky-jerky movement, although to these eyes that seems like a real possibility; but because they’re are too many germs on the subway. Come on. TheRead more about Nobody Puts Baby On the F Train[…]

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