I love my kids, I just hate parenting
There’s a movie coming out called Mama, about two feral kids trying to adjust to normal life. Apparently the ghost of their dead mother is lurking around, being all angry at Jessica Chastain for usurping her role. The movie looks freaky, sure. They’re the requisite spider-walk popularized in the Exorcist re-release from a few yearsRead more about Scary for Different Reasons[…]
It’s so much easier to be fat.
Okay, maybe it’s not easier to actually BE fat. But it’s definitely easier to GET fat.
And it’s a definitely piece of cake (or three) to let your kids get fat. Feeding them is headache enough even when it’s food they like, but you start putting nutrition into the mix and it becomes [insert hilarious Hunger Games reference here].
It’s so much easier to just let him have the damn french fries again.
As my son’s second birthday approaches, I can’t help but think ahead to what he’ll be like when he’s older. Especially since he is already growing up so fast.
Obviously, I can’t possibly predict my sons future interests based on what he likes as a toddler! I highly doubt he”ll still enjoy “Yo Gabba Gabba,” climbing up and down stairs, and pulling tissues out of boxes as much as he does right now. But I always say “find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in you life,” so go for it, tissue puller!
But really, about the only thing I can predict for him, with nearly 100% accuracy, is that for much of the time between the ages of 12 and 17, he’s going to be hideously ugly.
Over the past two years I’ve seen a lot of my son’s penis.
I’d have to say that aside from my own, there’s no one penis I’ve seen more of.
And I’ve been on Chat Roulette.
Apparently human beings can get hoof-to-mouth disease. I guess this means we’re done with petting zoos.
But are we done with hugs too?