Bad Dads Make Bad Husbands

Bad Dads Make Bad Husbands

The other day, I was left home alone with my two kids. For a few hours I tasted the life of a single parent.

It didn’t work out.

As soon as my wife walked in the door, I put down the baby and picked up the bourbon. I won’t lie: I was drinking to forget — to forget the stress, the scrambling, and the screaming. I had spent a few measly hours managing my kids all by myself, and it was enough to rededicate me to my marriage for another 10 years.

At least.

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My Nine Best Parenting Fails

My Nine Best Parenting Fails

I’m not that great of a parent. Not when you consider my parenting fails.

I’m probably an okay dad, in the whole “good time guy” way some dads are. I get along with my kids, we like to horse around and goof around and get around ooh ooh I get around! (God I’m old.) But I yell too much, and I say “no” too much, and I say “don’t do that” too much, and my five-year-old definitely prefers his mom. After all, I’m the bad cop.

But sometimes my bad parenting actually works out. Some of my parenting fails are actually kind of wins!

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Politics Impacts Parenting

Politics Impacts Parenting

Last week, I shared a goofy post comparing kids to politicians. I didn’t take a side, at least not one that isn’t anti-kids or anti-politicians, but I did attach an old e-card to the post that took aim at Republicans.

Which turned out to be unfortunate – but not because I am a Republican. (When it comes to party affiliation, I have none; I’m registered as an independent, although I am pretty staunchly liberal.) It’s unfortunate because many people who saw the e-card couldn’t see anything else and quickly got mad at me for mocking the GOP.

But they mostly got upset that I was discussing politics on my Facebook page and on my website. Apparently, politics doesn’t have a place on a humor page or a parenting page.

Yeah. That’s bullshit.

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TV Guidance

TV Guidance

Before I became a parent, I had a lot of fantasies about how I was going to influence my kids to like the stuff I like, and to teach them the stuff I wanted them to know.

I forgot how quickly other influences crop up. My kid is not even six and I’m already fighting a war on multiple fronts.

I think TV is winning.

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The Longest Day

The Longest Day

This week, I’ve been “working from home” while managing my baby and entertaining my five-year-old. Needless to say, it hasn’t been the most fun week I’ve ever had.

Shockingly, the baby is a piece of cake compared to the five-year-old.

Somehow, Detective Munch has found a way to turn a twelve-hour day into one that feels like it’s 312 hours. It’s the longest day of all time. With that many hours to fill, it’s no wonder he’s so bored.

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