28
Oct
Monsters are Real
I don’t really understand why some parents dress their tiny children as monsters for Halloween.
Aren’t they terrifying enough already?
Tag: Kids
26
Oct
Counter Programming
We ration our son’s screen time.
At this point, he only plays a handful of tablet games, so “screen time” is still mostly “TV watching time,” and we try to limit it. If he’s going to become a couch potato, it’s at least going to be when he’s old enough to watch legitimate programming. There’s no need to binge watch “Dinotrux”.
Of course, sometimes we need him to watch something, just to get him out of our hair. And one of the joys of TV in 2015 is the ability to stream shows whenever we want. We’re not slaves to the programming schedule. But we are slaves to our kid.
So if we need to get something done, we’ll throw on Netflix and let him go to town. (But not “The Town.” He’s too young for that much Affleck.)
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23
Oct
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12
Nobody wants my advice much these days. even though a highly respected and totally anonymous website I’ve never heard of just called me a cross between Louis C.K. and Homer Simpson, which may or may not be a compliment?
I used to run these columns fairly regularly, but now, even when I bang the drum for questions, I hardly get enough to fill the space. Which is a shame, because my advice is not only terrible and potentially damaging, it’s funny and potentially damaging. But without questions, I can offer no answers.
Thus, this may be the last edition of Parental Advisories. You have only yourselves to blame.
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12 …
21
Oct
Disciplinary Actions
It’s not easy to discipline your kids. To get the job done, I think we all try a little bit of everything.
There are countless recommendations out there, infinite cure-alls guaranteed to produce the perfect child IN DAYS! They range from time-outs to reward charts to taking away toys to whining back at them so they can see how ridiculous it feels. But none of them work.
When I discipline my kid, the progression is not so much 1-2-3-MAGIC as it is 9-1-1-HELP!
20
Oct
Brand Awareness
If you follow my social accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), you may remember a photo shoot my son and I did with Dove Men+ Care back in February. We had a lot of fun that day, and despite the fact that in one of the photos I’m pretending to play a guitar that I wouldn’t be able to play even if it were actually plugged in, I’m not even being sarcastic!
How could I be, when Detective Munch looked so amazing in the resulting photos? We’re talking peak Andrew McCarthy, in the St. Elmo’s Pretty Mannequin at Bernie’s era.
I left that shoot thinking it might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and then they sent me a package of hair products. Ouch! Don’t they know the new baby stress is making me lose my hair?
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