My son is only four, but with the speed at which children grow up these days, it won’t be long before he starts going on dates. So I thought I’d write a little something to anyone who is considering going to the drive-in and the ice cream stand – or maybe the roller rink and soda shop? I’m out of touch – with my son. Some rules for dating him.

(If you have a daughter, try these or these, from much nicer people than me.)

He’s a friendly, good-looking kid, so I don’t blame you for being interested. Just be careful. If you want to date my son, it’s your funeral.

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