How To Take Care of a Fussy Baby

How To Take Care of a Fussy Baby

If you’ve ever raised a baby, you know how the presence of an infant can transform your home into something like Arkham Asylum. It’s just constant chaos, noise, paranoia and catatonia, and I haven’t even mentioned the food and feces that litter the walls, floor and your clothes. But hey, it’s all worth it once they grow up to be ungrateful money grubbers who show you no respect!

Dealing with a baby is hard. Dealing with a crying, frantic, fussy baby is hell on earth. And even just a few weeks in, I’ve learned a few tricks for making life with a baby just a little more tolerable.

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Ready Or Not

Ready Or Not

Of all the questions I hear most often these days – “How is your wife feeling?” and “When is the baby due?” and “Wow, have you been working out?”- the one that gives me the most pause is “Are you ready?”

Sometimes that’s followed with “to rumble?” and then things get real in a hurry, but usually it’s obvious that they are really just asking me if I’m prepared for the awesome responsibility of becoming a father.

Most of the time, I acknowledge the person’s superficial interest and half-hearted feint at concern by offering one of three quick responses – “Yes?” or “I hope so!” or “As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess” – and then moving on to something else. After all, most people that ask don’t really care. They’re just being polite. And nosy.

The question is the dad-to-be’s equivalent to the constant “how are you feeling?” query that pregnant women are faced with, and – as I mentioned above – it’s easy to dismiss. But should I deign to give it some real thought, it can send me spiraling into an existential black hole that can only be filled with crying jags, drunken fisticuffs and some cutting.

Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Is it even possible to really be ready to become a parent?

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