Tag: life

Scrimping and Caving
06 Jun
Posted in Fear 4 comments

Scrimping and Caving

A few weeks back, after abandoning potty training due to the onset of trauma, Mom and Buried and I took a quick run to Target.

While there, we decided to buy some off-brand diapers to get us through the next few weeks, enough time for Detective Munch to emerge from his PTSD (Potty Traumatic Stress Disorder) and get back on the potty train.

The cheapo diapers turned out to not be the best idea, as they were cheapo for a reason: they leaked worse than Julian Assange.

Which got me thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t shortchange my son.

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Big Sad Voodoo Daddy
01 Jun
Posted in Fear 5 comments

Big Sad Voodoo Daddy

I don’t consider myself the superstitious type. I occasionally knock some wood and usually try to say “rabbit rabbit” at the start of every month, but that’s about it.

Of course, that was before I became a dad.

These days I might as well be Shirley Maclaine for all the bullshit I find myself believing. There’s just NO WAY a filthy anarchist monkey like Curious George gets invited to that many parties, but I just keep playing along.

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Me Toddler. You Jane.
31 May
Posted in discipline 3 comments

Me Toddler. You Jane.

Children don’t understand decorum.

They don’t know that society has rules. That society demands you behave in a certain way in certain places. It’s called being civilized.

Children are not civilized. My two-year-old might as well be a rabid animal most of the time.

Getting him to behave the way one is supposed to behave is impossible.

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The Real Reason Parents are Always So Tired
28 May
Posted in Sleeping 131 comments

The Real Reason Parents are Always So Tired

You often hear the phrase “I need a vacation from my vacation.” I try not to use cliches, but after just a few days at the beach, I need a vacation from my vacation.

Unfortunately, I have a kid. So I’ll never get one. I’ll always be tired.

Parents are always tired. There’s a good reason for that.

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Identity Crisis
22 May
Posted in Sacrifice 9 comments

Identity Crisis

On Twitter, it is possible to create lists into which you can group and categorize the people you follow. As I’ve grown my presence there, I’ve seen myself added to more and more lists (you get notified when it happens).

Yesterday, I was added to one that was simply called “parents.”

And it made me a little sad. I’m having an identity crisis.

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