I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Everybody likes a good hero, right? Especially kids.
Back in my day, I searched the skies for Superman, pretended I was a Jedi, and even wrote a school paper about how much I admired my dad. When I became a father, I was excited for my son to find his own heroes.
I just didn’t expect them to be the bad guys.
When you live with small children, you quickly discover that it’s not only kids who say the darndest things.
As parents, we all find ourselves saying ridiculous things to our kids, because our kids are ridiculous and they bring us down to their level.
(Also, we drink a lot.)
This morning, Mom and Buried left for a ten-day business trip. For the next two weeks, it’s just me and my son.
Things are going to be a little different while she’s gone. For one thing, I’ll finally be able to catch up on “Mr. Robot”.
For another, NO COASTERS!
Usually when I watch my son stumble around, I’m amazed at how little he can do. I mean, yeah, he’s only five-years-old, but it’s incredible to see all the basic, rudimentary human activities that he is unable to complete, or even truly comprehend.
I love my son, and lately his behavior has (slightly) improved and he’s being (slightly) less of an asshole so I’m (slightly) more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, in many cases, it’s not his no-can-do attitude so much as his no-can-do age.
With that in mind, I’ve tried to change my perspective and look at his deficiencies – like the inability to do two things at once, or to not get food in his hair, or to take a shower – as adorable and charming.
I’ve told my parents I hate them, and you have too.
You probably said it when you were a little kid, like mine did last night, and you also probably said it again when you were a teenager, and maybe you’ve even said it recently, deep into adulthood, you ungrateful man-child.
Every kid says it, and every parent knows it will happen, because kids are mean af.
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