I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Usually when I consider my kids’ futures, it’s in terms of what I want them to accomplish, and what I want them to become.
But sometimes it’s easier to rule certain things out, as I once did half-jokingly, and have done quite seriously as well.
Today I learned about a different way of thinking about it, which centers on making them part of the solution – problem solvers – rather than sitting something out entirely.
I’d like to say that it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’d be lying.
I’ve gone on vacations with my kids before. (Well, with my lone kid. The second one is brand new.) And while they’ve been fun, they don’t exactly qualify as vacations. Vacations are meant to be about relaxation, and recharging, maybe some reading, and maybe getting some extra rest. Vacationing with kids is a different thing entirely.
This past spring, when I took my 5-year-old and my 3-month-old on our first family-of-four vacation, I was not anticipating much in the way of relaxation. (I’m not really anticipating either of those things ever again.)
My six-year-old won’t be watching the first presidential debate tonight because a) he’s six and b) he doesn’t need to hear the terrible things people will say during the debate, and by “people” I mean me and by “terrible things” I mean the filthy words I will be yelling at the screen every time Trump speaks.
In a perfect world, Donald Trump will get crushed in November and retreat back to one of his gross hotels, never to be seen again except all the time everywhere because he is a craven opportunist with absolutely no shame and the media worships him. But that’s fine, he can have his TV appearances, so long as I never have to explain to my kids why a misogynistic bigot is President of the United States.
But it’s possible, and in order to be prepared for that possibility, I’ve begun trying to think of ways to explain President Trump in terms my six-year-old can understand.
I hate talking on the phone. I hate it so much that if we are in the middle of a conversation via text, and then you call me, I will ignore the phone and continue texting you.
First of all, talking on the phone is the literal worst. Second of all, whether you respond to an email with a phone call, respond to a text with a email, or respond to a phone call with a text, changing mediums MID-CONVERSATION is the height of rudeness!
Well, actually calling someone is the height of rudeness, but switching mediums midstream is a close second! Anyway, here are three scenarios illustrating why texting is better than calling.
I’m tired.
I just turned 40. I have a six-year-old (as of yesterday!) and an eight-month-old. I have a full-time job, a full-time blog, and a full-time wife. I am tired.
I’m tired because I rarely get enough sleep, but I’m also tired when I get a full eight hours. I’m even tired when I get extra sleep, because all that does is remind my body how much more sleep I need! I was tired yesterday, I am tired right now, and I will be tired tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, the rest of this decade, and for the foreseeable future.
But maybe that’s not such a bad thing?