Ryan Reynolds is No Superdad

Ryan Reynolds is No Superdad

Among dads who write about parenting, I’m kind of on an island.

Many dad bloggers think fathers don’t get their due as parents and are portrayed as doofuses by Hollywood and Madison Avenue. I’ve never had much of a problem with any of that.

All the dads I know are fully engaged in the parenting process, and are just as vital and respected as the moms. Sure, there are some negative stereotypes flying around, but progress can take a while. The horse is out of the barn, things are changing for the better, and it’s clear who is on the wrong side of history.

At least I thought it was clear, until Ryan Reynolds went on TV and said that he changes his new baby’s diapers and the media lost its mind.

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The House That Dad Built

The House That Dad Built

What’s the opposite of handy? Handless? That’s what I am.

I can barely hammer a nail. But having kids forces you to do things you wouldn’t normally do, like put together a complicated, 36-piece wooden playhouse you got from Lowe’s. Which is what I spent Sunday afternoon doing.

BECAUSE I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH THEM!

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I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

Father’s Day is coming up (as if you didn’t know, you sly minx!) and Mom and Buried keeps asking me what I want. I keep telling her that I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

Which is true, I don’t want anything. Why not? Well, it’s certainly not because “I have two beautiful kids and an amazing wife and that’s everything I need” because give me a break!

Here are some reasons I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

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Coal Miner’s Father

Coal Miner’s Father

It’s a fool’s errand to try to predict your kid’s future when he’s still in kindergarten, but that doesn’t stop parents from losing their minds over particular talents they spot in their children.

Detective Munch is not even six. Neither he nor I has any idea what he’s going to be into down the line, but so far his favorite subject at school seems to be science, and, besides being a pain in the ass, his greatest talent seems to be in getting dirty.

Luckily, I may have found a job for him that combines both of those things!

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Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Parents aren’t special. Having children doesn’t make you a hero. To paraphrase Furious Styles, any fool can make a baby, it takes a real parent to raise kids.

It also takes a real parent to think horrifying thoughts about their kids. And if that’s the primary criterion by which parenting is measured, I’m pretty sure I’m the world’s greatest dad. Because I’m a horrible person!

For proof, witness this list of terrible thoughts only parents have, and that it’s possible only this parent has, because I’m deranged. But that’s why you love me!

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