13 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Giveaway One comment

Father’s Day Giveaway: myCharge Prize Pack

Mom and Buried thinks I use my iPhone too much. She’s probably right.

But when you’re managing a social media empire, you need to keep your constituents happy! Where else can my Twitter and Facebook (and Instagram!) followers turn when they want to read about someone who hates their kid?

I promise to stick around as long as you’ll have me. Especially now that I got a new portable phone charger! Do you want one?

12 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline One comment

Fun with Discipline

Disciplining your children can be hard. But with the right attitude, disciplining your children can be a laugh riot!

I love putting my son in time-out, not letting him stay up any later, taking things away from him. Not food or shelter or love (I’m an asshole, not a psychopath!), but toys, and TV, and the other little perks of childhood. I don’t do it to instill values or help make him appreciate what he already has. I don’t even do it because he’s so spoiled already that it serves as a nice change of pace.

While those benefits are all well and good, I like depriving my son of the things he wants because it’s funny and it makes me feel better.

[E-card] Children are Monsters

Having kids can occasionally feel like living in a monster movie. Because children are monsters!

When you kid bites you, he might as well be a vampire. When she screams up a storm, she can be as terrifying as a banshee. When they try to wipe their own butt, they often end up looking like a mummy. For the first few years of their lives, they all walk like Frankenstein’s monster.

And every single one of them reduces your home to rubble, like one monster in particular…

09 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Movies 2 comments

Begun, the PopWars Have

I love popcorn.

Last night I actually woke up with a stomachache because I ate too much popcorn. But that won’t stop me from being a popcorn fan, intestinal pain be damned!

I also love Star Wars. I’ve actually woken up in pain at the memory of the prequels. But that won’t stop me from being hopeful about the upcoming movie, Harrison Ford looking 300-years-old/not having been good in a movie in 300 years be damned!

My son also loves both of these things. More importantly, he knows I love them.

I have a bad feeling about this.
Read more about Begun, the PopWars Have …

05 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 3 comments

Stuff Kids Love to Interrupt

Every time my wife and I show each other any kind of affection, Detective Munch comes bombing over to get in on the action.

He’s like Pepé Le Pew, if Pepé Le Pew were into incestuous threesomes. (Which: probably?)

He’s always butting in! I literally don’t remember what it’s like to have time alone.

Dad and Buried

Tag: parenting

Father’s Day Giveaway: myCharge Prize Pack

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Fun with Discipline

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[E-card] Children are Monsters

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Begun, the PopWars Have

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Stuff Kids Love to Interrupt

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