I love my kids, I just hate parenting
I spend a lot of time railing against the idea of parenting “experts”. But everyone needs some advice once in a while.
Pretty soon, I’m going to have a new child upon whom all my hopes and dreams will rest. In order to ensure things go smoothly, I got some advice from fellow members of the dad blogger community.
Then I mocked it.
My son says plenty of ridiculous stuff, but none is more ridiculous than the stuff he says when he’s trying to get out of going to bed.
I know I’m not alone in being both amused and frustrated by the nonsense our kids come up with in attempts to delay their bedtime, especially since Netflix created images based on some of the goofy excuses actual real-life kids have deployed.
They even used one of mine!
Until you’re a parent (or a sports fan), it might be hard to understand how you can love something with all of your heart while, at the exact same time, it drives you so crazy you want to run away and live in a log cabin.
Kids have an infinite capacity for inspiring both your awe and your annoyance. Based on my son’s recent behavior and burgeoning intellectual development, five-year-olds are right smack in the sweet spot.
My wife’s friends are throwing her a sprinkle, which is both the name of a smaller, not-your-first-kid baby shower and a word I will spend the rest of my life trying to avoid saying.
As one does when generous friends plan to ease the stress and expense of preparing for a major life-changing event, my wife has started a registry. I have not seen this registry, and I may never see it. I may even be fabricating the fact that she even started one. I haven’t been paying attention.
Regardless, I decided to write a baby item wish list of things I think we need for baby #2, some of which are obvious, some of which are outlandish, and a few of which don’t actually exist.
In September, as part of a campaign celebrating America’s unsung workers, I wrote about my father-in-law’s career as a truck driver. It gave me some insight into what his job is like, and allowed me to eliminate “truck driver” from any future job searches.
You think I’m joking, but it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and by “a long time” I mean, I’m still not sure!” Truck driving might have stayed on the table. I’m determined to help my son find his way sooner than I did, and now that I’ve seen this month’s “1 in One Hundred Million” video, I know he will.
I have found his one true calling.