Uncommon Courtesy

Manners are important. Common courtesy is important. Especially to parents.

It’s gratifying when your kids display those traits, especially toddlers, since they are sociopaths. Nothing makes me more proud than when my son answers someone’s “Thank you,” with “You’re welcome,” or when he deploys an “excuse me” as he squeezes past someone on the stairs.

We stress that kind of simple politeness for a few reasons. For one thing, it’s a simple way to display our parenting skills. If your kid is polite, people automatically assume you’re doing something right. For another, we operate under the assumption that ingraining good manners into children at an early age will make it stick.

But does it?

The Secret Sexism of Halloween

I try not to preach a lot, especially about parenting.

For one thing, I’m not qualified. For another, no one is. But sometimes something gets under my skin so deeply that I can’t let it go, and as my son’s third Halloween approaches – the first where he actively chose his own costume – I have to speak up.

Halloween has become an incredibly sexist holiday. TOWARDS BOYS.

25 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 19 comments

Hilarious Things to Say to Someone Who Only Has One Kid

Mom and Buried and I only have one kid. Which makes us worse than all those parents who have more than one. Truly. We’re worse parents AND worse people.

At least we’re still better than all those people out there with NO kids! Am I right?

The fact is, having one kid is so easy it’s a joke. It’s pretty much exactly like having zero kids, except you actually have the one kid. Thankfully, one kid barely even registers in your life.

I’m a stay-at-home dad but since I only have one kid I’m really just a stay-at-home guy. I basically sit on my ass at home all day. Sometimes, I forget my son is even there! I honestly don’t know where he is right now, but I’m sure he’s fine. He’s just one person. He can handle himself.

I don’t know why only children even have parents.

17 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning No comments

Care Package

Human beings suck. Especially parents. Having kids seems to bring out the worst in a lot of us. For example, when I had a kid I started making gross generalizations about huge swaths of people.

You know who doesn’t suck? Kids. I know, stop laughing; I hate them too. But hear me out.

Obviously, kids suck. They’re terrible. They’re loud and unruly and they don’t listen and they’re stupid and they’re exhausting and they smell. And that’s just MY kid. Don’t even get me started on other people’s.

But you know what else they are? Kind. Innocent. Without a judgmental bone in their bodies. And selfless.