Despite all my whining, I love my son. He’s a pain, but he’s my pain.
It’s other people’s sons – and daughters – that are the problem.
Everybody loves their own kids, even when they don’t. It’s kind of impossible not to.
It’s the ones you don’t own that give children a bad rap! Because they are the worst kids ever.



I think people who say “I like kids” are creepy.
I don’t like kids. I like MY kids.
This might be why I have an aversion to obligatory birthday parties for children who don’t live under my roof.
Except other kids are always so polite to me. My own kids treat me like I’m constantly trying to pick out their earwax. (I only do that on occasion.)
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