12
Apr
Dealing with Tantrums
Ah, tantrums. Even the word sucks. But it’s got nothing on the experience.
When you have a toddler, they are impossible to avoid. But, rumor has it there are ways to defuse them.
If you’ve got the balls.
Tag: toddlers
06
Apr
The Death of Spontaneity
Back when I was single, or even married without a kid, planning things wasn’t necessary. I’d get an impromptu phone call from a friend and just say “sure, I’ll be right there!” Then I’d actually be right there, and we’d spend the next 11 hours sitting at a bar.
Nowadays, if I don’t have something on the books at least a week in advance, I can’t even answer that phone call. Just getting yourself and your kid out of the house takes an eternity. When you become a parent, the concept of “spur of the moment” ceases to exist.
Having children means the death of spontaneity.
02
Apr
Homeless or Toddler?
My wife called me today to alert me to the latest adorable thing my son did. Are you ready for this?!
She was getting him ready for his bath, and he decided that the moment right AFTER his diaper came off was the perfect moment to urinate. So urinate he did, all over the floor. Then he slipped in his own urine. And fell. Into his own urine.
SUPER CUTE, right? The kind of thing you’d expect to see an adorable homeless man do while you’re waiting for the subway. I’m actually a little shocked I haven’t seen that happen. I live in New York!
But toddlers and the homeless have a lot of other behavior in common. So much so that it can be hard to tell them apart.
Let’s try.
29
Feb
Toddlers are Crazy
My son is an anarchist. It’s not really his fault, since all toddlers are anarchists. But it’s just a stage he’s going through. I hope.
Maybe they’re not anarchists in the true sense of the word, since they aren’t so much about politics or even abolishing or ignoring rules; they don’t exactly grasp the concept of rules, so it might be a little unfair to label them that way. But it’s clear that they hate rules or boundaries of any kind, even if they can’t articulate why.
Regardless, living with an anarchist is hard work. And whether my son is technically an anarchist or just behaves like one, the end result is essentially the same: CHAOS.
22
Feb
Stress Test
Over the summer, when my son was still firmly in “baby” territory, I wrote about the Toddler Menace.
This past weekend, with my son now a toddler himself, my words came back to haunt me when we took our toddler along to visit some friends.
I almost had a heart attack from the stress.