23 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice One comment

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

Nobody wants my advice much these days. even though a highly respected and totally anonymous website I’ve never heard of just called me a cross between Louis C.K. and Homer Simpson, which may or may not be a compliment?

I used to run these columns fairly regularly, but now, even when I bang the drum for questions, I hardly get enough to fill the space. Which is a shame, because my advice is not only terrible and potentially damaging, it’s funny and potentially damaging. But without questions, I can offer no answers.

Thus, this may be the last edition of Parental Advisories. You have only yourselves to blame.

21 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs No comments

Disciplinary Actions

It’s not easy to discipline your kids. To get the job done, I think we all try a little bit of everything.

There are countless recommendations out there, infinite cure-alls guaranteed to produce the perfect child IN DAYS! They range from time-outs to reward charts to taking away toys to whining back at them so they can see how ridiculous it feels. But none of them work.

When I discipline my kid, the progression is not so much 1-2-3-MAGIC as it is 9-1-1-HELP!

Read more about Disciplinary Actions …

19 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking No comments

The Dark Side of Watching Movies with Kids

Over the weekend, I finally showed my son Return of the Jedi! What a tremendous father/son bonding experience it… almost kind of was.

He enjoyed it, I think. Mostly. The parts he paid attention to, at least.

Watching a movie with a five-year-old is not all it’s cracked up to be. Even one they’ve been begging to see for months. But that’s my fault.

His overconfidence was his weakness. My faith in his attention span was mine.

15 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

Antihero Worship

Everybody likes a good hero, right? Especially kids.

Back in my day, I searched the skies for Superman, pretended I was a Jedi, and even wrote a school paper about how much I admired my dad. When I became a father, I was excited for my son to find his own heroes.

I just didn’t expect them to be the bad guys.

Parents Say the Darndest Things

When you live with small children, you quickly discover that it’s not only kids who say the darndest things.

As parents, we all find ourselves saying ridiculous things to our kids, because our kids are ridiculous and they bring us down to their level.

(Also, we drink a lot.)

Dad and Buried

Tag: toddlers

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

Like this:

Disciplinary Actions

Like this:

The Dark Side of Watching Movies with Kids

Like this:

Antihero Worship

Like this:

Parents Say the Darndest Things

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: