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30
May
Tag: toddlers
28
May
Party Pooper
Newsflash: Kids are stressful. They disrupt your life, and the lives of the people around them, even when they’re on their absolute best behavior. They are the ultimate party pooper.
That’s why we parents often prefer to hang out with other parents. Not only so we can bitch about the stress to someone who has had similar experiences, but because when there are other kids around, your kid has something to do rather than keep pulling your arm and causing you to spill your drink.
Also because your own kid’s bad behavior is less noticeable when he’s part of a team. There’s strength in numbers. For parents, numbers provide solidarity.
For our children, they provide camouflage.
21
May
They Want it All
19
May
The Parent Lapse
So we have this baby gate. No, we’re not embroiled in some shocking political controversy involving a baby (Babygate, coming soon to theaters near you!), it’s an actual gate for babies.
Like all baby gates, it’s used to prevent babies (and toddlers) from getting places they shouldn’t, particularly staircases (and the Oval Office!). Having exclusively lived in urban apartments, we haven’t had that much need for it, because an apartment with stairs is not an apartment we can afford. However, for the past few months, Detective Munch has been in Grandma and Pop-pop’s house, and Grandma and Pop-pop’s house has stairs. So the baby gate was put back to work.
Except not really. Because I never close it. Because I’m a terrible father.
16
May
Hot Parenting Trends for 2015
Parents are some of the most creative people in the world. And also the most insane. Don’t take my word for it, just take a look at the popular new baby names. Or check out Huffington Post’s list of 2014’s hottest new parenting trends.
I get it. Once you become a parent you enter a whole new subculture, with new friends, a new lifestyle, and brand-spanking new priorities. It’s overwhelming and exciting and boring and inspiring! And what better target for a parent’s creativity than their own children?
The Huffington Post may have a line on this year’s latest fads, but I’m doing them one better. I’m predicting 2015‘s new trends! Why? Because I’m a goddamn lunatic! And so are you if you don’t hop on this bandwagon asap.