Dads Gone Wild

A couple of teenagers raided their dads liquor cabinet and got caught.

Their punishment?

PARTY TIME.

True story: in Arizona, a couple of punk kids got busted by their dad for breaking into his booze. In order to teach them a lesson, Dad lined up a few shot glasses and they got to gettin’!

He gave them three shots each. Which…okay. Three shots will do you pretty good, especially when you’re fourteen.

But then, rather than roll up a blunt and throw on some Skynrd, Dad threw his kids into the pool. Which…huh?

These allegations are shocking. He looks like such a nice guy!

He says he was trying to teach them a lesson. What lesson? That swimming while trashed is totally kick-ass? Because unless his kids just can’t swim, I’m not sure what kind of consequences he was going for. Sure, they’re drunk at this point, but unless they’re totally limbless, they should be able to at least stay afloat and make it to the shallow end, right? And if not, they’re not really retaining much of a lesson after they’ve drowned.

“I was trying to teach my children that in drinking irresponsibly, this is what the cause and effect of it is, and this is what it’s going to do to you,” said the father. Because god knows those times I went out binge drinking in college I ALWAYS ended up fully clothed and totally soaked. Truth be told that wasn’t pool water on my pants and those were still some of the best nights of my life.

If he was trying to teach his kids that getting drunk isn’t fun, he should’ve made them do five shots each, put them to bed, then woke them up three hours later to go to a toddler’s birthday party.

Being hungover around a bunch of rambunctious, screaming little kids will learn you real quick: drinking is hell.


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