My son is out to get me. And I’m not just talking about the time he ordered a Big Mac at KFC.
As a kid, you have a tendency to see the adults in your life as the bad guys, especially when you’re a teenager. When you become a parent, it’s obvious that it’s the children that are the problem; dastardly little beasts who materialize in the middle of your already-in-progress life and proceed to wreak havoc.
Maybe one day my son will write a blog about how I’m the Big Bad in his life, but in my version of the story, I’m the superhero and he’s my nemesis.
In fact, there are a few famous villains from the pop culture rogues gallery that my kid has lately been bringing to mind.
In 5th grade I played a mustache-twirling villain in the school play, but I have nothing on my son. As he settles into his terrible twos, Detective Munch has been doing a far more convincing job playing the bad guy than I ever did.
So I thought I’d lay out a quick list of the bad guys he brings to mind in the midst of a tantrum or when he’s refusing to eat his dinner.
Five Supervillains My Son Resembles
Egghead – maybe he’s more like Bedhead (see pic). Let’s scratch this one and start again.
Lex Luthor – hey, the kid used to be bald. Plus, he’s always trying to kill me
The Riddler – my son often dresses like a moron (though that may occasionally be my wife’s doing), and it usually takes me a few hours to just figure out what the hell he’s talking about. He’s a dead ringer for the Riddler.
The Opposite of Flash – not a real supervillain, I know, but I needed someone who was really slow or could stop time. All I could think of were Zack Morris and Evie from that horrible “Out of This World” show, and those won’t do. But my son has a magical ability to slow everything down. Trying to get a toddler to cooperate or get out the door can be like wading through molasses. So the Opposite of Flash it is!
Bonus: Wetface – if he were a Dick Tracy character, this would totally be my son’s name!
Do your kids remind you of any famous bad guys?