Stuck Inside with Kids

Stuck Inside with Kids

More power to our kids, but nothing makes a person hate snow more than being an adult. There are only so many times you can take your kids sledding and ice skating and snowman-building, especially when you have things to do!

No matter how outdoorsy you are, in the winter you’re sure to be spending more and more time indoors with a collection of five-hour-energy side-effects in tiny human form, slowly but surely exhausting every single entertainment option available in an effort to keep the kids occupied. And keep yourself from turning into Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It’s not easy.

And it’s only going to get worse for me, now that I have a newborn too.

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Is Your Child Gifted?

Is Your Child Gifted?

When my son was in preschool, we received an informational packet about how we could get him tested for NYC’s “gifted” programs. We decided not to bother.

Not because we don’t think he’s got potential, but because it just seemed like unnecessary stress for a four-year-old. Besides, if Detective Munch is some kind of supergenius, we’ll find out eventually (and laugh all the way to the bank!)

I’m glad we passed on the testing, because last week I saw an article on PopSugar called “Signs Your Child May Be Gifted” that takes all the guesswork out of determining whether your kid might one day be able to buy you an island*.

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Allergic Reaction

Allergic Reaction

Every once in a while, particularly during the back-to-school season, we see a flurry of blog posts and articles about allergies.

The posts typically concern one of two things, depending on the proclivities of the author:

1) Please don’t bring [this thing that my child is deathly allergic to] to school, I’m begging you! or;
2) Whatever, I don’t care if your kid dies.

My son has a pretty severe tree nut allergy. Guess which category this post falls into?

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Growing Up (Not So) Fast

Growing Up (Not So) Fast

It’s rare to find a parent who didn’t measure the passage of time by juxtaposing pictures of their kid’s first day of school in September with their kid’s last day of school in June.

And then, with a mixture of pride (“He did it!”) and petulance (“He’s growing up too fast!”), they bemoan the passage of time, whine about how fast it’s all going, and bitch about how quickly kids grow up.

I call bullshit.

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The Guide to Hungover Parenting

The Guide to Hungover Parenting

Last night, we had our neighbors over for a few drinks. Somewhere between my third and fourth beer, I forgot that I have a kid and a job and am thirty-eight, so I had three or four more beers. Now I want to die.

Thankfully, today is Friday, so I’m at work instead of sitting at home trying to occupy a four-year-old who wants me to pretend to be a firetruck-slash-dinosaur and get on my knees and chase him around the house all while holding my head and trying not to throw up.

Hungover parenting is not a lot of fun.

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