Imposter Father

Imposter Father

I’ve been a father for almost 11 years, but I haven’t felt like one for nearly that long.

“Imposter syndrome” refers to the feelings of doubt one has about their abilities and accomplishments, and brings with it the fear of being exposed as a fraud. It’s usually mentioned in regards to one’s professional life (which: YES), but I actually feel it more frequently as a parent.

Every morning when I wake up – often forcefully, thanks to my toddler – I’m starting from zero. I live in perpetual fear that my kids are suddenly going to realize I have no idea what I’m doing.

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A Little Recognition Goes a Long Way

A Little Recognition Goes a Long Way

Two years ago, I lost my job. Over that summer, my wife got one. Suddenly, I was home alone with my kids every day.⁣⁣
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I was a stay-at-home dad again, a role I didn’t love the first time when I had one two-year-old, and one I wasn’t looking forward to this time around, with two sons.⁣⁣
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My fears were realized when it took just two days for me to lose my patience, and I wrote an Instagram post about how ill-suited I was to be at home.

And then a funny thing happened: my wife told me I was doing a great job.⁣⁣

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“Supposed To” Doesn’t Exist

“Supposed To” Doesn’t Exist

There’s no such thing as “supposed to.”

Recently, I wrote about @momandburied’s anxiety. One of the things that feeds it is the fear that she’s not doing enough and hasn’t accomplished things she’s “supposed to” have accomplished.

That’s bullshit. Not only is she holding herself to imaginary standards, but many of these expectations were created in a vacuum, before she had kids, before she had multiple sclerosis, before the damn pandemic!

There’s no such thing as “supposed to.”

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Ten Years Gone

Ten Years Gone

Today is my oldest son’s birthday.

It’s not always easy with Detective Munch. On top of the fact that he’s a lot like me, and – newsflash! – I am not always easy! (Shocking, I know.) He also has ADHD, as I’ve written about, and podcasted about, before. I still haven’t figured out how to parent through his ADHD, which is no surprise, as I also haven’t figured out how to parent, period, which doesn’t help.

But I’m trying. Years ago, I told you about the things that make Detective Munch so great. Today I’m going to tell him.

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What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting

What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting

A few years ago, I ranted hard against a couple who created a list of guidelines for visitors who wanted to stop by and meet their newborn. They were essentially expecting friends and family to barter for an audience with their baby via handouts and housework.

It made little sense that a couple with such bizarre manners and expectations would have anyone visiting them, let alone enough people who it required rules and regulations. After all, this was a generic newborn, not the Pope. It was utterly ridiculous, and my post quickly became one of my most popular pieces.

Most of us felt that the couple was entitled and oblivious. Apparently, they were pioneers!

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