Hammer Time!

Hammer Time!

I wasn’t sure I wanted a second kid. Today, that second kid turns 6.

I definitely didn’t want a large age gap between my kids. He was born more than 5 years after my first.

I also wanted a girl. My new 6-year-old is boy #2.

Welp. Plans are stupid. Expectations are stupider. (Yes I know it’s not a word, get off me!)

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My Son’s ADHD Is Getting to Me

My Son’s ADHD Is Getting to Me

I’m the first to admit that I’m still figuring out how to parent, especially when it comes to my first-born. He has ADHD, and there are aspects of the condition, and the way it influences his behavior and personality, that I still don’t understand.

But every once in a while, I gain insight. I make strides. In understanding it, I mean. Not necessarily in parenting it!

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Imposter Father

Imposter Father

I’ve been a father for almost 11 years, but I haven’t felt like one for nearly that long.

“Imposter syndrome” refers to the feelings of doubt one has about their abilities and accomplishments, and brings with it the fear of being exposed as a fraud. It’s usually mentioned in regards to one’s professional life (which: YES), but I actually feel it more frequently as a parent.

Every morning when I wake up – often forcefully, thanks to my toddler – I’m starting from zero. I live in perpetual fear that my kids are suddenly going to realize I have no idea what I’m doing.

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A Little Recognition Goes a Long Way

A Little Recognition Goes a Long Way

Two years ago, I lost my job. Over that summer, my wife got one. Suddenly, I was home alone with my kids every day.⁣⁣
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I was a stay-at-home dad again, a role I didn’t love the first time when I had one two-year-old, and one I wasn’t looking forward to this time around, with two sons.⁣⁣
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My fears were realized when it took just two days for me to lose my patience, and I wrote an Instagram post about how ill-suited I was to be at home.

And then a funny thing happened: my wife told me I was doing a great job.⁣⁣

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“Supposed To” Doesn’t Exist

“Supposed To” Doesn’t Exist

There’s no such thing as “supposed to.”

Recently, I wrote about @momandburied’s anxiety. One of the things that feeds it is the fear that she’s not doing enough and hasn’t accomplished things she’s “supposed to” have accomplished.

That’s bullshit. Not only is she holding herself to imaginary standards, but many of these expectations were created in a vacuum, before she had kids, before she had multiple sclerosis, before the damn pandemic!

There’s no such thing as “supposed to.”

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