About two years ago, barely more than a month into the whole “Wow, I own a baby!” thing, I wrote a post comparing babies to lunatics. I’ve resurrected it below.
Little did I know that toddlers were about 8000 times more insane. Sure, they’re more fun than babies but they are a lot more unpredictable. The only thing unpredictable about an infant is which fluid is going to come out of him, and from where. Toddlers can do a lot more, but retain only a fraction more understanding of why they are doing it, or what might happen.
Currently, my two year old’s favorite pastime is suddenly, without warning, dive-bombing onto my chest, laughing maniacally while he does it. He also enjoys throwing the football towards me and then screaming like an air raid siren if I go near it. I don’t think he understands what “playing catch” actually means. Who am I kidding, I know he doesn’t understand what it means. He’s two.
It’s actually kind of cute to look back at the post below; I was so naive! Take a look; I have to go stop my son from chewing on the cat’s tail.
Original Post: Insane or Infant?
So Snooki had a kid. *Sigh*
Look, there are plenty of people out there who have kids that maybe shouldn’t or maybe don’t want to – maybe don’t even mean to – and end up being great parents anyway. So I’m willing to give this “maybe” the benefit of the doubt. At least for a while.
After all, it’s not my business to judge Snooki’s parenting, and honestly, I have little interest in thinking about this thing you call “Snooki” at all.
Unfortunately she’s already said something that goes against everything this blog stands for. And I don’t truck with that.
Over the summer, when my son was still firmly in “baby” territory, I wrote about the Toddler Menace.
This past weekend, with my son now a toddler himself, my words came back to haunt me.
I’m not going to say my son’s a genius.
I’m going to type it: MY SON IS A GENIUS.
Let me be clear: at my son’s young age, there is a lot he doesn’t know. Hell, at my age, there’s a lot I don’t know. But while my son is still figuring out how to feed himself, he’s been picking up all sorts of other knowledge and skills at an incredible rate.
So I thought I’d start posting about the new things he can do. In list form!
2011 was a pretty fun year for me. My kid exited his fourth trimester (the first three months of his life, from mid-September to mid-December) and emerged as a little human being, with a personality, expressions, lots of incoherent babbling and, eventually, the ability to walk and say a variety of words.
Watching that emerging personality and continued discovery of new information and abilities goes a long way towards mitigating what can otherwise be a tough stage of parenting. Because babies are dumb. Not because they’re stupid, just because they don’t know anything yet. And they are the opposite of independent. Like, the-citizens-of-North Korea opposite.