Thanks, Maybe

Thanks, Maybe

The other day, after Mom and Buried mentioned something about Father’s Day to Detective Munch, he responded by complaining about the fact that there isn’t a “kid’s day.”

Have you stopped laughing?

A child asking why there isn’t a kids’ day is like a white dude chanting “ALL LIVES MATTER” or a Meninist existing.

EVERY DAY IS KID’S DAY, JUNIOR.

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Cool Beans

Cool Beans

Before we have kids, we often make a lot of hyperbolic statements about the things we can’t live without. Things like bacon and beer, as well as certain albums and books and movies.

Then you have kids, and those kids immediately skyrocket to the top of the list. Some of the other items on the list are displaced, having instantly become frivolous, but some of them remain, and even grow in importance.

Like coffee!

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Cereal Filler

Cereal Filler

The Hammer won’t eat anything.

For a while, we thought we had him with pieorogies, and pizza, and pancakes, but he soon abandoned his alliteration-based preferences and embarked on a hunger strike. Cooking food for him quickly became a chore when all he wanted was his bottle of milk.

He loves his snacks, though, and despite the fact that he has occasionally procured a potato chip or two (second kids FTW!), he mostly munches on Cheerios. And thank god, because not only does he actually eat them, they don’t require any prep!

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Parenting Survival List

Parenting Survival List

We had our second kid a little more than a year ago.

Having a baby around, after being five-plus years removed from that part of the process, was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done required some quick re-learning of some forgotten skills.

Thankfully, it was a bit like riding a bike. Riding a shit-stained bike through an obstacle course of crumbs, toys, and instantly outgrown onesies while totally exhausted to the point of hallucination, but a bike nonetheless.

So far, we’ve managed, but not without my parenting survival list.

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