My Baby Fell Off the Bed and I Bet Yours Did Too

My Baby Fell Off the Bed and I Bet Yours Did Too

When my first kid was 9 months old, we went to Ireland.

We were dreading the long flight. It went fine. We were dreading the long drives around the countryside. They went fine. What we weren’t dreading was the hotel room we were staying in, or the king-sized bed we’d be sleeping in.

Little did we know that those were exactly what we should have been dreading.

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Things Kids Love That Parents Hate

Things Kids Love That Parents Hate

If you’re in the northeast, odds are you had a snow day yesterday. Congratulations, I’m sorry.

I live in Brooklyn, and thanks to Stella, my son had the day off from school, and thanks to the subways being shut down, I was stuck at home with the rest of the snowed-in Buried clan. The kids were excited (let’s just give The Hammer the benefit of the doubt), but the parents? Not so much.

Snow days are one of many things that are great when you’re a kid, but not so great as an adult.

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Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parents and children have different perspectives.

This is obvious when you’re a kid, particularly a teenager, because parents just don’t understand. But it becomes even more obvious, blindingly obvious, when you become a parent. Suddenly, parental guidance isn’t just a hassle, it’s your daily responsibility!

We usually don’t want the same things that our kids do. There is some overlap: we want them to be happy, to have fun, to be healthy, and they, presumably, want those things too. But we have different definitions of those things, and different methods for achieving them.

Which means that some of the things that make us good parents also make us bad ones, in our kids’ eyes.

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Drum Major

Drum Major

Christmas is coming, which gives us all a chance to show our families and friends how much we love them through the joyful act of giving, and receiving, gifts.

It also allows the cruel and vindictive people in our lives to torture us by gleefully providing our children with terrible, terrible toys, whether they’re loud, include hundreds of tiny pieces, require hours of manual labor to assemble, or are just plain annoying.

Sometimes, we parents even do it to ourselves, because indulging our kids is part of the deal. But even so, that doesn’t mean we can’t hold a grudge against the people who created some of these infernal toys to begin with. Which is what I’m about to do.

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How to Distract Kids From “President Donald Trump”

How to Distract Kids From “President Donald Trump”

There are a lot of posts going around from shell-shocked, well-meaning parents, discussing ways to talk to our kids about the fact that Donald Trump was elected President. (This is a good one.) There’s much to unpack: how he won, why he won, what this means for the future of our country, what it means about the present of our country, etc.

I have no answers to any of that (except the last one: there are a lot of ignorant and/or racist and/or misogynistic and/or short-sighted people in America). My oldest is only six years old, and while Detective Munch may not know much about politics or elections, he knows a bully when he sees one. He knows Trump is a mean, angry name-caller, even without the “benefit” of understanding the constant bigotry, misogyny, and xenophobia that comes out his mouth.

What he doesn’t know is why the country would elect someone like Donald Trump to lead it. And neither do I. So I’m not going to bother trying.

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