Sharing the Spotlight

Sharing the Spotlight

If you’re reading this and/or you follow me on social media (and if you don’t, WTF is your problem: here’s my Twitter and my Facebook), you probably know that I take great pleasure in exploiting my children in a desperate reach for fame (ha!) and fortune (*starts crying*).

If you follow me on Instagram (again: if not, what gives, jerk?), you’ve probably noticed that The Hammer has been dominating my timeline.

And I’m starting to feel guilty about overlooking his older brother.

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Bear Necessities

Bear Necessities

When I was a kid, I was all about chocolate.

As I’ve gotten older, not much has changed. My general snacking taste veers closer to the salty side of things (chips and dip will literally be the death of me), but if I’m having dessert? GIVE ME CHOCOLATE OR GIVE ME DEATH. (Seriously. If you bring a pie to my dinner party, don’t even get out of the car. I DON’T DO FRUIT-BASED DESSERT.)

Detective Munch is different. He loves candy! Don’t get me wrong, he loves chips too, like Daddy, but when it comes to dessert, he’s much more apt to choose sugary candy over delicious chocolate. At least, he was…

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The Neverending Story

The Neverending Story

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”

That famous quote is from The Godfather: Part III, and is a reference Michael Corleone finding it impossible to escape the mob life and go legit, but it also easily applies to my life as a parent (except for the number three part, because there ain’t no way I’m having a third!).

When you have kids, you’re always grasping for the light at the end of the tunnel, even while the tunnel keeps stretching further and further into the distance.

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In Praise of Screen Time

In Praise of Screen Time

As delightful as parenting can be (stay with me here), as rewarding a journey, as enjoyable an experience, there are downsides.

Shocking, I know. Who’d have thought that dedicating the lion’s share of your life to preparing other, dumber, younger people to live their own lives would occasionally be a drag? Well, I hate to break it to you, but it is. Not all the time, but a fair amount of the time. Maybe even more than it isn’t. Of course, the peaks always outperform the valleys, and even if there are fewer of them, they still matter more and linger longer.

The key is surviving the valleys. And that’s not always easy. But you know what? It’s easier now than ever before! Because technology.

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The Bedtime Battle

The Bedtime Battle

No kid likes going to bed.

My 6-year-old could be in the middle of getting waterboarded and he’d rather stick that out than have to brush his teeth and go to his room. As such, he’s become a master at putting it off, and at turning every bedtime into a battle.

Every night, when bedtime approaches, he suddenly becomes possessed with the need to do things. Anything. EVERYTHING.

Unfortunately, this includes making Daddy angry.

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