When you’re a kid, all you want for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or your birthday, are toys. All kinds of toys. Board games, action figures, lightsabers, it barely matters. They’re fun, and they make you happy.

When you’re parent, those same toys become a major source of irritation. They clutter your home, they empty your wallet, they give you a headache…

If you’re lucky.

When it comes to toy-related aggravation, everyone bitches about LEGO. Those tiny building blocks are the stereotypical example of toys that wreak havoc, in all sorts of ways. Mostly painful ones. They’re even making branded, extra-thick slippers now, to protect your feet from their wrath.

But if you’re worried about your kids’ toys, you need to remember that LEGO are not the only offender. In fact, they’re not even the most serious! If all you’re thinking about is your feet, they’ve got you right where they want you. LEGO is a scapegoat! There are far more serious foes to contend with.

I made a chart of our children’s most painful playthings, their most torturous toys. It’s all fun and games until you encounter one of these toys, and the worst case scenario happens to you!