06 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 2 comments

The Death of Spontaneity

Back when I was single, or even married without a kid, planning things wasn’t necessary. I’d get an impromptu phone call from a friend and just say “sure, I’ll be right there!” Then I’d actually be right there, and we’d spend the next 11 hours sitting at a bar.

Nowadays, if I don’t have something on the books at least a week in advance, I can’t even answer that phone call. Just getting yourself and your kid out of the house takes an eternity. When you become a parent, the concept of “spur of the moment” ceases to exist.

Having children means the death of spontaneity.

29 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies One comment

Toddlers are Crazy

My son is an anarchist. It’s not really his fault, since all toddlers are anarchists. But it’s just a stage he’s going through. I hope.

Maybe they’re not anarchists in the true sense of the word, since they aren’t so much about politics or even abolishing or ignoring rules; they don’t exactly grasp the concept of rules, so it might be a little unfair to label them that way. But it’s clear that they hate rules or boundaries of any kind, even if they can’t articulate why.

Regardless, living with an anarchist is hard work. And whether my son is technically an anarchist or just behaves like one, the end result is essentially the same: CHAOS.

Cute for a Reason

2011 was a pretty fun year for me. My kid exited his fourth trimester (the first three months of his life, from mid-September to mid-December) and emerged as a little human being, with a personality, expressions, lots of incoherent babbling and, eventually, the ability to walk and say a variety of words.

Watching that emerging personality and continued discovery of new information and abilities goes a long way towards mitigating what can otherwise be a tough stage of parenting. Because babies are dumb. Not because they’re stupid, just because they don’t know anything yet. And they are the opposite of independent. Like, “citizens of North Korea” opposite. They need us for everything.

They’re cute for a reason.

Crock of Ages

This entire blog is dedicated to my attempt at staving off the inevitability of becoming something I hate:

One of those people who is known as a parent first and a person second. One of those people who can’t seem to talk about anything except kids and kid-related stuff. One of those people who goes to bed at 8pm because parenting is so tiring, who stops having fun (read: drinking) because parenting is so all-consuming. One of those people who only listens to kids music, who only watches children’s programming, or who only hangs out with other parents.

Or one of those people who relays his child’s age in months. Today, I failed.

How to Train Your Baby

We leave for a trip in two days. With my baby. I don’t know why either.

My son is going to hit the eight-month mark while we’re on vacation in Ireland. I’m pretty nervous about my son’s first plane ride. Nervous and scared. Mostly that another passenger will get so pissed about my unruly child that he’ll yell at my wife and things will get physical. You know, valid concerns.

We’ve gotten some tips for flying with a baby, things like: try Benadryl, and bring a new toy to distract and confuse him with its newness, distribute pre-emptive goody bags, etc. And we may or may not try these. But there’s one thing we’ve been trying already – conditioning my son for what he’s about to experience, in order to make it easier on both him and ourselves.

I wrote a list about how to train your baby – for vacation and for life.

Dad and Buried

Category: Babies

The Death of Spontaneity

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Toddlers are Crazy

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Cute for a Reason

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Crock of Ages

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How to Train Your Baby

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