20 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear No comments

Miracle on 34th Street

Last week, my wife and I took our pride and joy (by which I mean our new iPhone 4S) and also our young son to visit Santa Claus at the Macy’s in Herald Square.

As residents of NYC it was a patently idiotic thing to do, as was visiting Rockefeller Center the week before; we’re not tourists, why would we subject ourselves to acting like them? The crush of people around 30 Rock was insane, and here I was trying to navigate a stroller through this mess of yokels, all of them hoping for a glimpse of Hoda or Tina Fey or the Snoopy balloon, all of them staring wide-eyed at the hot dog vendors and the skyscrapers, all of them losing their minds over a tree that wasn’t even lit in the middle of the day. Or maybe it was. I stood right next to it and didn’t even hazard a glance because who cares? I have one in my living room.

And yet last week we did it again. This time, we somehow made it through unscathed. It really was a miracle.

And that was what sucked about it.

15 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 2 comments

A Sign of Things to Come?

So Jimmy Kimmel created a bit for his show in which he asked parents to give their kids terrible Christmas presents and then film the results. He recently aired the results (video below). And they are disturbing…

13 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear One comment

He Learned It By Watching Me?

Watching a child grow and develop is an amazing thing, a true privilege as a parent. It allows even the most cynical, jaded and beaten-down of us to experience anew the simple joys of youth. It gives us a chance to revisit a sacred time of sublime innocence and joy, when the world wasn’t so complicated and shaded in gray. It is a sacred opportunity and it should be cherished.

Except when it sucks.

07 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 10 comments

Allergies: Yet Another Way My Son is Ruining My Life

Ever see that Brady Bunch episode where it seemed that Jan might be allergic to Mr. Brady? They actually considered a divorce! That actually happened. Just amazing television. What’s next, a series about a diminutive black child who lives with rich white people in a mansion?

Anyway, my wife took my son to the allergist yesterday and guess what happened? Not what happened in The Brady Bunch.

17 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 6 comments

The Inappropriate Collection: Things I Shouldn’t Show My Son, #4

There are a lot of things I’m afraid of my child eventually becoming: addicted to drugs, interested in speed-stacking, a Brony (just kidding, Bronies. Relax.)

Obviously, there will be times in his life when the things he likes don’t mesh with the things I like, and times in his life where he gets heavily into some things that he’ll later regret. Which is fine; happens to all of us. I remember when you were really into Kula Shaker.

But there’s some stuff out there that I just can’t abide…

Dad and Buried

Category: Fear

Miracle on 34th Street

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A Sign of Things to Come?

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He Learned It By Watching Me?

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Allergies: Yet Another Way My Son is Ruining My Life

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The Inappropriate Collection: Things I Shouldn’t Show My Son, #4

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