09 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 15 comments

11 Ways Children are Like Politicians

Politicians are universally reviled. Especially American politicians. Especially American politicians in the 21st century. Not only can’t they do anything right, they can’t do anything at all! It would almost be cute if it didn’t have such impact on our lives.

Which is kind of the deal with kids too.

They may not be universally reviled (emphasis on may not be), it’s a lot easier to laugh at their antics when they’re not yours. And the similarities don’t stop there.

05 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Blogging 2 comments

My Top Ten Posts of 2014

If you follow my Facebook page, this might be a bit redundant for you. But after two weeks of drinking and eating and drinking and drinking, I barely have the energy to keep my eyes open, let alone write a new post. So I’m milking this “year in review” thing one more time.

2014 was a good year for Dad and Buried. I moved back to Brooklyn after 18 lackluster months below the Mason-Dixon line (they do things differently down there), got a few sponsorship opportunities with which I annoyed half my readers, and increased my exposure by infuriating people who read the Huffington Post.

So to ease myself back into the swing of things, I’m kicking off 2014 with a list of my ten most popular blog posts of 2014.

19 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 27 comments

What Parents Want for Christmas

Growing up, when I asked my parents what they wanted for Christmas, they always made a (sad) joke out of it. They knew my brothers and I didn’t have any money, so they didn’t bother asking for anything real, like a new car, or a box of Cuban cigars, or a new furniture set.

Instead, they used Santa the way someone might use a genie: by asking my brothers and me for things that were abstract, theoretical, and totally unattainable. Just to make a point. They’d make requests like, “for you and your brothers to get along” or “a little peace and quiet” or “for you to behave.” Just totally insane shit that would never happen in a million years.

Now that I’m a dad, nobody ever asks me what I want. But if they did? I’d reply exactly the same way as my mom and dad. Because I was wrong; they weren’t joking.

The intangible, imaginary stuff really is what parents want for Christmas.

15 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 8 comments

How to Act Like a Child at Work

Children are little terminators.

To quote Kyle Reese, “They can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.” The only difference between my son and Arnold Schwarzenegger in that movie is that my son’s speech is more intelligible. And that Arnold loses. My son never loses.

His commitment to being irrational is so absolute, it’s like living with Andy Kaufman. I honestly can’t tell where the act ends and the real person begins. Or if there even is an act. Or a real person. I’ve never been so uncertain of how to deal with someone in my life.

Which is why I might start acting like a child at work.

04 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 4 comments

Five Ways Parenting Can Make You a Better Employee

I’m fairly well-educated. I went to college. I have almost two decades of experience in the professional world, and while I’m used to dealing with arrogant superiors and lazy peers and rude clients, nothing prepared me for dealing with a child.

Kids operate from an unrelatable place, often with no logical motivation or rationale for their behavior. They’re like something out of a horror movie; indefatigable, rarely-sated, and conscience-free. Kind of like your boss…or your clients…or your annoying coworker Karen!

I don’t care if you’re great at your job, and neither do your kids. Nothing you bring from work will help you at home. You can’t manage your children; they’re too unpredictable for that. But you can learn how to be a better manager from them.

Dad and Buried

Category: Lists

11 Ways Children are Like Politicians

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My Top Ten Posts of 2014

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What Parents Want for Christmas

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How to Act Like a Child at Work

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Five Ways Parenting Can Make You a Better Employee

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