I love my kids, I just hate parenting
I’m almost officially two years into my gig as a dad, and I think it’s pretty safe to say I am DOMINATING the category. If this were the Olympics I’d be like the U.S. Women, mostly that chick that shoots them skeets real good.
Seriously, three questions this week! My authority is being recognized!
(Recognize my authority at your own risk, right here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 5 …
Progress! Two people asked for my advice this week.
Why?
BECAUSE I SAVE LIVES.
(Submit your own questions, at your own risk, here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed – Vol. 4 …
No one wants my advice. Probably because I don’t know what I’m talking about it. But that will NEVER stop me from providing it, so long as there’s at least one person that asks for some. And there is! Just one, but still. That counts.
I’ve added some questions of my own, in order to fill space and to address some issues I myself have been having trouble with. To avoid confusion and differentiate my questions from actual external questions, I’ve addresses those made-up questions to myself as being from myself. Meta!
(Submit your own questions, at your own risk, here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Vol. 3 …
My legion of advice seekers is growing.
Last week I needed to make up two questions. This week I got one real question and one piece of hatemail, which I am treating as a real question because I need this. I NEED THIS.
(Submit your questions here.)
Read more about Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Vol. 2 …
It’s been a few weeks since I offered up my services as a parent whisperer. Despite my constant ranting against the idea of parental expertise and the superiority complexes of the Other Parent, I still feel confident that I am the one true parenting expert and am better at it than anyone else on earth.
Unfortunately I haven’t had any opportunities to display this prowess, as no one has submitted any questions to my blog’s new advice section.
But I’m no lazybones. So instead of waiting for all of the ill-equipped, terrible, surely-raising-the-next-Hitler-via-their-dumbass-parenting parents out there to email me with questions, I’m making up some of my own. And signing them as only John McClane would.