Parents Are Always Scared

Parents Are Always Scared

As you may know, my son has a bad tree nut allergy. This means we need an epipen, and epipens recently increased in price by something like 400 percent. Even that scumbag Martin Shkreli is appalled. (That’s not even a joke; he really is.) The one time my son required the use of his epipen, we hesitated, unsure if it was necessary, and didn’t use it. He’s okay, but it was scary. (Turns out we should have used it, and we’d dodged a bullet.)

His allergy is scary. Needing an epipen is scary. The fact that we’ll probably be faced with that exact scenario again some day is scary. But what else is new? Everything about parenting is scary.

I’m always scared, and I bet you are too.

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Bad Dads Make Bad Husbands

Bad Dads Make Bad Husbands

The other day, I was left home alone with my two kids. For a few hours I tasted the life of a single parent.

It didn’t work out.

As soon as my wife walked in the door, I put down the baby and picked up the bourbon. I won’t lie: I was drinking to forget — to forget the stress, the scrambling, and the screaming. I had spent a few measly hours managing my kids all by myself, and it was enough to rededicate me to my marriage for another 10 years.

At least.

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Kelley’s Heroes

Kelley’s Heroes

I’ve been to Southern California three times.

The first time, I was in third grade on a family vacation. The second time was for a wedding around 2005, during which I drove a rented PT Cruiser convertible. The third time was two weeks ago, when I visited Irvine, CA as a guest of Kelley Blue Book. Not only was this my first official “dad blogger” trip, it was my first opportunity to have In-n-Out in about a decade. I couldn’t NOT go.

Thankfully, this trip did not involve a PT Cruiser. Because Kelley Blue Book has standards.

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The Longest Day

The Longest Day

This week, I’ve been “working from home” while managing my baby and entertaining my five-year-old. Needless to say, it hasn’t been the most fun week I’ve ever had.

Shockingly, the baby is a piece of cake compared to the five-year-old.

Somehow, Detective Munch has found a way to turn a twelve-hour day into one that feels like it’s 312 hours. It’s the longest day of all time. With that many hours to fill, it’s no wonder he’s so bored.

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Let Freedom Sting

Let Freedom Sting

If you’ve been following me on social media, you probably know that I’ve been on my own the past few days.

We were at my parents for the holiday weekend, and while I came back to NYC on Tuesday to go to work, Mom and Buried and the kids stuck around. The kids got to hang with Grandma (consequences be damned) and Mom and Buried was able to get some work done without paying for a babysitter. Or camp.

Meanwhile, I was living the high life, bachelor style! FREEDOM!

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