Tag: development

Fantasy Parenting Draft
04 Sep
Posted in Lists One comment

Fantasy Parenting Draft

It’s football season! And you know what that means: it’s fantasy football season!

Bore everyone to tears with game recaps! Anger wives and girlfriends by spending too much time doing research! Turn leisurely Sundays into stress-filled angerscapes of regret and frustration. I can’t wait!

I’ve written about my relationship with fantasy football before, even going so far as to consider skipping the birth of my child to attend my draft. That was a choice I didn’t end up having to make, thankfully, and it resulted in one of the best day’s of my life: the day I won it all.

These days, almost everyone in the league has kids, and since everyone with kids wishes they had better kids, I thought I’d imagine what the top picks in a Fantasy Parenting draft would look like. Read more about Fantasy Parenting Draft …

We’re All Faking It
25 Aug
Posted in Learning One comment

We’re All Faking It

I’ve been a parent for just about three years (though I haven’t felt like one for that long). I repeatedly admit my total lack of parenting know-how, partially because there is no one right way to parent, partially because I have no idea what I’m doing.

And yet people keep asking me what to do.

Not on my advice page, unfortunately, but in real life. Don’t they know I’m faking it?

Read more about We’re All Faking It …

Toddlers Are Assholes
22 Aug
Posted in discipline 6 comments

Toddlers Are Assholes

My kid has been a real punk lately.

When your kids are at their most trying, it can make even the most seasoned parent question themselves. I say don’t. Especially if you’re parenting a toddler.

Toddlers are assholes and there’s not much you can do about it. Don’t let them bring you down.

Read more about Toddlers Are Assholes …

Woman Up!
02 Aug
Posted in Fear 2 comments

Woman Up!

My son loves riding the merry-go-round at our local park.

He used to prefer the stationary animals, or even one of the stupid sled things, but as he’s become more enamored with the carousel he’s graduated to the real shit: the animals that slide up and down. I’m glad; there’s little point in even going on the thing if you’re not on one of those.

On our latest trip, I saw that my wife was letting our son ride some overgrown cat thing all by himself. And she chose to ride the animal next to him, rather than stand at his side to make sure he didn’t fall off! I sat on the sidelines (I chose the bench outside because going in circles makes my tummy hurt), panicking as my moron of a son repeatedly took one hand off the pole to wave at me as he went by. Meanwhile, Mom and Buried wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

I need to woman up. My wife has bigger balls than me.

Read more about Woman Up! …

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