21 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 4 comments

Crock of Ages

This entire blog is dedicated to my attempt at staving off the inevitability of becoming something I hate:

One of those people who is known as a parent first and a person second. One of those people who can’t seem to talk about anything except kids and kid-related stuff. One of those people who goes to bed at 8pm because parenting is so tiring, who stops having fun (read: drinking) because parenting is so all-consuming. One of those people who only listens to kids music, who only watches children’s programming, or who only hangs out with other parents.

Or one of those people who relays his child’s age in months. Today, I failed.

How to Train Your Baby

We leave for a trip in two days. With my baby. I don’t know why either.

My son is going to hit the eight-month mark while we’re on vacation in Ireland. I’m pretty nervous about my son’s first plane ride. Nervous and scared. Mostly that another passenger will get so pissed about my unruly child that he’ll yell at my wife and things will get physical. You know, valid concerns.

We’ve gotten some tips for flying with a baby, things like: try Benadryl, and bring a new toy to distract and confuse him with its newness, distribute pre-emptive goody bags, etc. And we may or may not try these. But there’s one thing we’ve been trying already – conditioning my son for what he’s about to experience, in order to make it easier on both him and ourselves.

I wrote a list about how to train your baby – for vacation and for life.

19 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Movies No comments

Second-Favorite Parent

I mentioned we took the kid swimming. The first week went, ahem, swimmingly. The second week? Not so much.

The differentiating factor?

Daddy. Because I’m the second-favorite parent.

03 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Sacrifice 4 comments

The Only Child Conundrum, Part 2: Is It Selfish to Have Just One?

Part 1 of the Only Child Condundrum dealt with the impact that having just one kid might have on that kid.

For Part 2, let’s forget about my son and his infinite potential for disappointing me for a minute. Instead, let’s talk about how having more than one kid might affect me and my wife.

27 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies No comments

Humiliate Your Children

You owe it to yourself to humiliate your children.

When they’re older they’ll do it to themselves, whether they like it or not. It’s totally inevitable that at some point in their lives our children will be the focus of widespread ridicule as the result of some embarrassing miscue, whether it’s accidentally going into the girls’ bathroom or clumsily tripping on stage as they reach for their diploma or someone filming a video of them when they’re so drunk their attempts at speech sound like Chewbacca making love to the Hulk.

It’ll happen. Just as it’s happened to all of us. Until it does, it’s your job. And it must be done.

Dad and Buried

Tag: development

Crock of Ages

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How to Train Your Baby

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Second-Favorite Parent

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The Only Child Conundrum, Part 2: Is It Selfish to Have Just One?

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Humiliate Your Children

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