01 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 6 comments

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 8

Advice isn’t hard. All you have to do is put yourself in someone else’s shoes and then pretend you are smarter than them.

Parents do it CONSTANTLY. It’s one of the reasons everyone hates us.

Which brings us to the latest installment of Dad and Buried’s Terrible Parenting Advice. So long as you follow it or do the EXACT OPPOSITE, things should work out just fine for you and your family.

But don’t quote me on that.

21 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 9 comments

Phasing Out Phases

Trying times at the Buried household.

Even since the kid turned three, he’s been, to borrow a word usually reserved for younger ages, terrible. Mom and Buried is concerned that we’re doing something – or not doing something – to encourage – or not discourage – this behavior. I’m more apt to dismiss his latest paranormal activities as part and parcel with his development. Most kids are devil-spawn at this age.

So she frets and I rationalize:

“He’s a toddler!”
“He’s three years old!”
“It’s a phase!”

While I concede I’m not the perfect Dad (there’s only one perfect dad: Coach Taylor from “Friday Night Lights”) and that there are probably things we could be doing to curb his behavior, I think I’m right. He is a toddler. He is only three. It probably is a phase.

But what if it’s not?

Parents Are The Worst

Parents are the worst. Actually, politicians are probably the worst. And other people’s kids suck pretty bad too. And Nazis.

In fact, I changed my mind. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Nazis are really the worst.

But parents still suck pretty bad. I knew it before I had a kid and it’s become even more apparent since I’ve joined their ranks.

Here are some of the reasons why.

Read more about Parents Are The Worst …

04 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Drinking 9 comments

Requiem for a Cream-colored Lovey

Thank you all for coming. I’m sure my toddler will appreciate it years from now, when we show him pictures and explain everything, since he’s barely three and doesn’t understand what it’s all about and won’t remember a single moment.

It’s been a tough couple of days since Lovey left us, particularly for Detective Munch, who has lost his sidekick, his snot rag, his bunk-mate, his whipping boy, his partner-in-crime, his napkin…

His best friend.

It’s a sad day, but we’re here to celebrate a life well-lived, not mourn an untimely – but inevitable – passing. Let’s face it, if Lovey hadn’t been lost, he probably would’ve disintegrated; dude was FILTHY. (By which I mean: well-loved.)

02 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 6 comments

Five Ways Kids Are Like Dogs

Full disclosure: I’ve done it myself.

Years ago, in my cynical pre-fatherhood stage, I compared babies to pets. Unfavorably, because at least pets have, as I wrote at the time, “furry upside.”

I stand by that, as I enjoy my still cynical mid-fatherhood stage. In many ways, pets are more rewarding than babies. Obviously, babies evolve, and eventually having a child has advantages over owning a dog or a cat (don’t even talk to me about birds and fish and gerbils and hamsters). Eventually.

Right now, I have a toddler. And sometimes I might rather have a puppy.

Dad and Buried

Tag: discipline

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 8

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Phasing Out Phases

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Parents Are The Worst

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Requiem for a Cream-colored Lovey

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Five Ways Kids Are Like Dogs

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