Nine Things That Are NOT LIKE Having Kids

Nine Things That Are NOT LIKE Having Kids

It’s easy to compare the delightful, infuriating experience of having kids to different non-parenting things. I should know, I’ve done it a lot.

I’ve compared having kids to being in prison, going to an amusement park, playing fantasy football, watching a popular TV show, and other things I’ve forgotten about because I’m too prolific for my own good.

Obviously, you can compare parenting to just about anything. But what can’t you compare it to?

Let’s find out.

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I Hate Date Night

I Hate Date Night

I like spending time with my wife, without the kids.

Going out for a romantic dinner or even a boozy lunch, enjoying each other’s company and pretending life is as it was before you became parents, or became roommates, or became contractually obligated to run out the string, is a critical part of a healthy relationship.

But I hate date night.

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The Gift of Convenience

The Gift of Convenience

As you may know, I spent last week in Turks and Caicos.

It was gorgeous. Warm and sunny and, aside from the pristine ocean and the hotel pools, dry. Mom and Buried and Detective Munch started our last day in the warm tropical water and ended our last day in the cold, miserable rain outside Newark airport. It was quite the jarring shift, especially when the rain continued all weekend.

Further dampening (NAILED IT!) my mood was the realization that Mother’s Day is around the corner. I was exhausted (vacation with kids is no joke), and had little motivation to leave the house. Especially not in the rain.

But I had to go shopping.

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The Best Things About Flying with Children 

The Best Things About Flying with Children 

The Buried clan spent the last week in Turks and Caicos! (Visit my Instagram page to hear me rub it in your face.)

We had a great trip, made lots of memories, spent way too much money, and got home in one piece. Despite the two flights that book-ended the excursion.

All things considered, the two four-hour flights went pretty well. The Hammer slept (mostly) the whole time, Detective Munch behaved (mostly) the whole time. I didn’t give out any goody bags in a passive-aggressive attempt to stand up for all parents who get hassled on planes. And I didn’t deprive my five-year-old of technology in an attempt to see how long I could go without getting punched.

I did change a blowout at 35,000 feet, which I’m pretty disgusted by/proud of. And that wasn’t even one of the ten best things about flying with children!

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Rated Pee-wee

Rated Pee-wee

I’m not so sure Pee-wee Herman is a great role model for my kids. (Let’s not get into Paul Reubens.) He’s dresses like an idiot, he sounds like an idiot, and he acts like an idiot.

Wait. Now I understand why my five-year-old likes him so much. They’re both idiots!

The least I can do is have some fun with it. Thanks to Netflix, I did!

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