02 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Health One comment

Homeless or Toddler?

My wife called me today to alert me to the latest adorable thing my son did. Are you ready for this?!

She was getting him ready for his bath, and he decided that the moment right AFTER his diaper came off was the perfect moment to urinate. So urinate he did, all over the floor. Then he slipped in his own urine. And fell. Into his own urine.

SUPER CUTE, right? The kind of thing you’d expect to see an adorable homeless man do while you’re waiting for the subway. I’m actually a little shocked I haven’t seen that happen. I live in New York!

But toddlers and the homeless have a lot of other behavior in common. So much so that it can be hard to tell them apart.

Let’s try.

Read more about Homeless or Toddler? …

10 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Learning 2 comments

Real Genius

I’m not going to say my son’s a genius.

I’m going to type it: MY SON IS A GENIUS.

Let me be clear: at my son’s young age, there is a lot he doesn’t know. Hell, at my age, there’s a lot I don’t know. But while my son is still figuring out how to feed himself, he’s been picking up all sorts of other knowledge and skills at an incredible rate.

So I thought I’d start posting about the new things he can do. In list form!

My Little Bronies

This morning, my brother alerted me to this story in the Wall Street Journal, about a burgeoning subculture of older people (read: teens and up) who are enthusiastic about the new version of the “My Little Pony” cartoon.

Older male people.

As a free thinking liberal who supports gay marriage, female hockey players and David Bowie, I have no problem with this on any kind of gender-stereotyping level. Besides, there’s a good chance that my previous sentence, in which I lump these male “Pony” enthusiasts in with homosexuals, is potentially offensive to the aforementioned “bronies.” (Yes, bronies. That’s what they call themselves. I know, right?)

Parenting is Not a Competition

Parenting is not a competition. But that doesn’t stop some parents from treating it like one.

Last week I wrote a post about the self-loathing I felt upon stating my son’s age in months. The first comment I received was a joke about how I should get my son checked out because he’s not yet walking on his own.

At least I hope it was a joke.

22 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists 3 comments

Teething With Anger

Thankfully, he won’t remember teething.

He won’t remember shoving his fists in his mouth and chewing on his tiny fingers, just to get some relief. He won’t remember his parents’ frustration and exasperation as they attempted to diagnose and then treat what appeared to be a totally phantom issue (like so many of them are). He won’t even remember the blissful relief a few drops of Baby Orajel afforded him, but that probably has less to do with his unformed brain and more to do with the fact that Baby Orajel doesn’t do shit.

No, he won’t remember the ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ months of pain that came with the slow emergence of his first teeth. But neither will Mom and Buried and I forget them anytime soon.

I can’t wait until he’s ready to lose his baby teeth in a few years, because at the first sign of a wiggle I am going to pull them out and grind them into dust!

Dad and Buried

Tag: learning

Homeless or Toddler?

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Real Genius

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My Little Bronies

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Parenting is Not a Competition

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Teething With Anger

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