I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Children are expensive.
And not just like, “Wow, I didn’t expect it to cost that much!” expensive, more like, “Wow, the cost of this item is really cramping my style, I should probably return it!” expensive, and maybe even “I bet if I sold this I’d make a fortune!” expensive.
They’re the kind of expensive that makes you question your life choices. Parents need some guilt-free spending to offset our crushed dreams.
Parenting comes with a lot of rules.
Whether you’re a strict mom or a cool dad (or vice-versa!), when it comes to raising kids, there are a million dos and don’ts. Some of them are universal (do feed them, don’t show them pornography, do brush their teeth, don’t let them drive, etc.) and some of them differ by household (for example, you don’t let your kids watch TV, whereas my 6-year-old woke up with nightmares about last week’s Legion; to each their own!)
But in our weakest moments, and we all have them, every parent wants to ditch the rule book. Every parent wishes there were certain things s/he could get away with, if not for society and laws and potentially scarring/endangering our kids.
What kinds of things? I’m glad you asked!
Read more about Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With …
When my first kid was 9 months old, we went to Ireland.
We were dreading the long flight. It went fine. We were dreading the long drives around the countryside. They went fine. What we weren’t dreading was the hotel room we were staying in, or the king-sized bed we’d be sleeping in.
Little did we know that those were exactly what we should have been dreading.
Read more about My Baby Fell Off the Bed and I Bet Yours Did Too …
If you’re in the northeast, odds are you had a snow day yesterday. Congratulations, I’m sorry.
I live in Brooklyn, and thanks to Stella, my son had the day off from school, and thanks to the subways being shut down, I was stuck at home with the rest of the snowed-in Buried clan. The kids were excited (let’s just give The Hammer the benefit of the doubt), but the parents? Not so much.
Snow days are one of many things that are great when you’re a kid, but not so great as an adult.
When I was a kid, I was all about chocolate.
As I’ve gotten older, not much has changed. My general snacking taste veers closer to the salty side of things (chips and dip will literally be the death of me), but if I’m having dessert? GIVE ME CHOCOLATE OR GIVE ME DEATH. (Seriously. If you bring a pie to my dinner party, don’t even get out of the car. I DON’T DO FRUIT-BASED DESSERT.)
Detective Munch is different. He loves candy! Don’t get me wrong, he loves chips too, like Daddy, but when it comes to dessert, he’s much more apt to choose sugary candy over delicious chocolate. At least, he was…