19 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in marriage One comment

The Return of Mom and Buried

Hello again, Mom and Buried here! Remember me?

It’s been too long. I would have loved to have written sooner, but you know, I’ve been busy BUILDING A HUMAN IN MY UTERUS, luxuriating in the pleasures and joys of pregnancy and childbirth, and raising said human to be the adorable (and not-at-all-exhausting) toddler he is today.

And I think I got another kid too around here somewhere. And also a husband, the infamous Dad and Buried.

So let’s just say three – I’ve been busy raising THREE children. But I digress…

16 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies No comments

Thanks, Maybe

The other day, after Mom and Buried mentioned something about Father’s Day to Detective Munch, he responded by complaining about the fact that there isn’t a “kid’s day.”

Have you stopped laughing?

A child asking why there isn’t a kids’ day is like a white dude chanting “ALL LIVES MATTER” or a Meninist existing.

EVERY DAY IS KID’S DAY, JUNIOR.

Cool Beans

Before we have kids, we often make a lot of hyperbolic statements about the things we can’t live without. Things like bacon and beer, as well as certain albums and books and movies.

Then you have kids, and those kids immediately skyrocket to the top of the list. Some of the other items on the list are displaced, having instantly become frivolous, but some of them remain, and even grow in importance.

Like coffee!

When Dad Jokes Get Real

When you have kids, you don’t become just a mother or a father. You become a teacher, a doctor, a cop, a waiter, a maid, and a referee if you have more than one kid. (Here’s hoping you don’t have a daredevil kid who requires you to be a firefighter also!)

On top of all that, on top of suddenly having to do a bunch of lame stuff like discipline your kids and clean up after your kids, and on top of your office becoming a nursery, your Netflix queue drowning in cartoons, and the car you once loved becoming a breeding ground for Goldfish crumbs and spit-up stains, the real horror hits: Not only have you become a dad, you’ve become your dad!

It’s already happening to me.

11 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Eating No comments

Cereal Filler

The Hammer won’t eat anything.

For a while, we thought we had him with pieorogies, and pizza, and pancakes, but he soon abandoned his alliteration-based preferences and embarked on a hunger strike. Cooking food for him quickly became a chore when all he wanted was his bottle of milk.

He loves his snacks, though, and despite the fact that he has occasionally procured a potato chip or two (second kids FTW!), he mostly munches on Cheerios. And thank god, because not only does he actually eat them, they don’t require any prep!

Dad and Buried

Tag: Parenthood

The Return of Mom and Buried

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Thanks, Maybe

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Cool Beans

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When Dad Jokes Get Real

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Cereal Filler

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