School of Block

School of Block

When I was a kid, The Karate Kid was one of my favorite movies. If I’m totally honest, it still is. I see it listed in the channel guide and there’s no way I’m not watching the tournament.

Growing up, I was so enamored with the uplifting tale of Daniel LaRusso’s war against the neo-Nazi community of Southern California that my parents thought I might want to take karate classes. And I would have, if I hadn’t been so terrified of landing in a Cobra Kai-type school with a Vietnam-traumatized sensei who would force me to be racist and do push-ups on my knuckles.

Come on, I was like eight years old. Which I thought was a little young for martial arts. Except almost 30 years later, my son is taking them, and he’s three.

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Parental Advisories – Volume 9

Parental Advisories – Volume 9

Look. It’s not that I don’t want to give you people advice, it’s that you won’t allow me to. Even after my previous EIGHT installments of my parental advisories, in which I’ve dominated the field and proven my bona fides as someone who can write middling jokes while being kind of insulting and mostly side-stepping your very real domestic problems. I own the space!

You want in on this expertise? Then you’d better get to asking more questions!

Until then, I’ll service the meager few who’ve got the balls to admit – and/or are so drunk they actually think – that I’m a better parent than they are.

Like these brave souls below.

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The Most Interested Man in the World

The Most Interested Man in the World

One of the joys of being an adult is the ability to make your own decisions. To decide what you want to do, how you want to spend your time, and who you want to spend it with.

And then you have kids, and pretty much all of your autonomy goes out the window.

Thankfully, and startlingly, one of the side-effects of becoming a parent is that you change – you don’t have to change everything, not if you don’t want to, but you will inevitably change, at least a little. Your lifestyle will shift and your priorities will be re-ordered and, suddenly, the people you most want to spend your time with are your kids, and the things you want to do are what they want to do.

Most of the time.

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Zombie Post: Take Your Kid to Work Day

Zombie Post: Take Your Kid to Work Day

Today is national “Take Your Kid to Work Day” or “Bring Your Children to the Office Day” or “Escort Your Sons and Daughters to a Soundproof Room as Far Away from My Desk as Possible, You Fucking Psychopath Day” and as such, my office has been transformed into a crayon-littered war zone, if wars tookRead more about Zombie Post: Take Your Kid to Work Day[…]

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