Look. It’s not that I don’t want to give you people advice, it’s that you won’t allow me to. Even after my previous EIGHT installments of my parental advisories, in which I’ve dominated the field and proven my bona fides as someone who can write middling jokes while being kind of insulting and mostly side-stepping your very real domestic problems. I own the space!
You want in on this expertise? Then you’d better get to asking more questions!
Until then, I’ll service the meager few who’ve got the balls to admit – and/or are so drunk they actually think – that I’m a better parent than they are.
Like these brave souls below.
Dear Dad and Buried,
My son loves a little girl at school and she loves him. Unfortunately we May or may not have given her infant brother RSV (who had to be hospitalized – eek!) We did not know my son was sick at the time of the exchange of germs, however her family seems to be keeping their distance (literally) from us. My question is, should I fight for this friendship for my son? I am having my doubts that she and I could really be friends. What would dadandburied do?
– Mar
Dear Mar,
First of all, “Mar” is an odd name. Are you writing from Westeros? Have you found your dragons? Anyway, I have to turn the tables, because I have two questions for you: Does you son really know what love is? Does he want me to show him? Because in my first few years as a dad, I’ve learned a lot about love, and most of what I’ve learned is that a) it’s fleeting and b) it doesn’t really exist, especially when you’re under five and the object of that love isn’t either your lovey or your Mommy.
So I wouldn’t be too concerned about the nipping in the bud of your son’s fledgling romance, especially since his girlfriend sounds a wee bit prudish. If a little case of RSV is scaring her off then she’s in for a rude awakening when your son turns eight and starts eating bugs to impress her, like Nicholas Cage. Just buy the kid another matchbox car and watch him cleave that little girl from his memory almost as fast as the Unsullied’s masters cleaved their genitals from their crotches. Sorry to be crude but I’m only speaking in terms a Targaryen would understand.
Besides, her parents sound like dicks. Surely you have better friends in your life.
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed,
– Dad and Buried
Dear Dad and Buried
I am an extremely lazy person. I have 14 yr old twin boys, who in my opinion, should be doing a heck of a lot more around the house. For instance, we are moving in less than a month! Yet they seem content to just sit and play video games or watch Anime. seeing as how that is something I’d much rather be doing myself. Yelling at them from the couch to “Pack to your god damn rooms up so you can start on the rest of the house!) doesn’t seem to be working. I know your son is much younger than mine are, but I thought perhaps, you’d have some insight as to how I can motivate these kids to listen to their lazy mother.
– Loves Couches
Dear Katie,
Let’s ease up with the self-degradation, shall we? You have twins and, assuming they did finally lend a hand with your move (I’m responding to this quite late), they’re still alive. So you’ve already accomplished more than most of us, even if by “accomplished” I mean “added despicable, shiftless teenagers to an already overcrowded earth.” Secondly, you just moved, and having just moved myself, “lazy” is the last thing I’d call someone who has survived such a hellish undertaking. That said, if you’re admitting your own laziness, then it must be pretty serious, in which case your sons have surely picked up on it. Lazy is as lazy does, na mean?
The difference here, of course, is that you’ve already lived your life. You’ve sowed your oats, made your way, done everything you’re ever going to do and are now just awaiting the sweet deliverance of eternal sleep. So your own laziness is no excuse for your sons, unless we’re calling laziness genetic, and if we’re not ending this charade and finally admitting that homosexuality is genetic then I don’t think we’re allowed. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Your kids are probably just assholes. Or teenagers. (Those are synonyms.) As for getting them to listen, try bribery. Or just charge them rent.
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed,
– Dad and Buried
Dear Dad and Buried,
I have a 2yo who loves to do everything with the same routine. When something changes, she reacts (react = crying for 28 hours or I die. Whichever comes first). The point is: 1. Is it normal for children of that age are so susceptible to changes?. 2. My daughter will have OCD?. If so, 2.a. I can use it in Vegas as Rain Man/girl?. 3. What are the chances that a prostitute discover that my daughter is counting cards? PS: Excuse my English, I’m from Venezuela. Oh-oh … you’re from USA!. Ok … very close to Colombia and Brazil. (Drugs and orgy). Sorry, it’s a joke. My respect
– Rohan D
Dear Rohan,
I like the way you think, Rohan, as I often find myself thinking about the same things, like whether I can exploit my son for my own personal gain. I also fear the retribution of prostitutes. And I definitely wonder if my son might have OCD because holy shit does he go ballistic when something is not placed “just-so”! So your email has actually reassured me! I’m not alone! I’m not afraid anymore!
Now it’s my turn to help you. Don’t sweat it. Toddlers are walking mental illnesses; any particular symptoms you think you see are more likely a result their age than anything else. I’d guess that your daughter’s OCD will fade with time, to be replaced with ADHD or PMS or something far worse, being that you’re so close to “drugs and orgy.” Sorry, it’s a joke. Much respect. (Shout out to my foreign readers!)
Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed,
– Dad and Buried
That’ll do it. Only three questions this time, because unlike “Loves Couches” up there, most of you ARE lazy.
But I’m not (yes I am), so not only am I willing to help by allowing you to submit your questions here, I’ve also created a new page where you can eschew my genius-level tips and simply brag about your problems on the Buried Secrets page. Everybody*’s doing it!
*like maybe 25 people so far
Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological
world everything is presented on web?
Awesome article.
Check out myy page: stop smoking
Backbiome is an advanced daily wellness supplement formulated to help support spinal comfort, reduce feelings of built-up tension, and promote freer, smoother movement throughout backbiome everyday life.
Backbiome is an advanced daily wellness supplement formulated to help support spinal comfort, reduce feelings of built-up tension, and promote freer, smoother movement throughout backbiome everyday life.
Young mmale adultys clipsPost yyour foreign wife pornVirgi hed office addressKirea knnightly nakedBeautifful bottom danceBrittnewy spears blowjb freeMoms
love too masturbateFree neon gdnesis hentaiAsan spititKiims lil yric nakd truthCum brushhers samanthaLoder
matur lsdies xxxBreastt feedihg aand stomwch fluNude post
falls idauo womenRoantic interlude tht leads too
sexBrooike skye pusxy clip2 drun girs fuckingSexx
vkdeo foor iphoneBoy girl pornn galleriesHot nudfe female celebratiesWhen was tthe fixt tenth rodwo recordedHow too conyrol
a male orgasmFinjal fntasy lebian pictureReed tjbe weet amature pussyBudd beast jizz
videoLezbian sxenes from mulhoolland driveMake bressts largerVintabe mirrored sunglzsses with hollogdam lensFreee hand job
viddeo xxxAdult download freeBanndera gayNudist pictures
groupEbopny fat asss fuckBmw door stripsBlondee girls beinng fuckedGlenn fredy exy girl mp3Vanesa
huggens nakedGirls gettinng spanked byy guysNaugfhty sesy irk strippersNakwd pictufes off zoey deschanelSeriousl sexcy secretariesWhyy aree monbkeys gayChunky hairyNew vzgina picClosetesd transvstite
sexDubblin escort mapStic yolur tongue up my assBig asss chhinese nakedForsa 2 pussyBustyy matfure grany 04Is
athesm a fetishCann youu haave sex iff yyou get thhe anthrax shotIllustrrated erottic stories
starsSexx during menstrruation videoEverrette washgington escortsProfessionals andd ibterracial relationshipsSexsesarch adlt site lookingg ffor sexPusy galore clubAmazon natiive nue nakedHd stockinbg hairyHarijy
nde gurlsBig booed women nudeVintage tir conversionFreee amateur
webcam por videosNuude grils fingering themselfsFemale cumdhot videosWhaat causes anall and
vigiinal itchHugee massice chiicks pornUncle puniishes niecee eroric storyYung sexx maniacLonggest male cum shotFree doble penetrafion photosWiild bachelorette paty cockPectoeal necklace vintageAsiaan pornhNaked star trerk womanKell stables nue picsNuude nakwd fenale
boxing wrestlingAlll nue suuzanne stokesBeautifil platinum blonjde teen modelsFuking plqce tto liveStoroes xxxx indiaan freeBoyy girl seex symbolAdut propofol sedation for mriHottest teenn staars everRacherl
uchitel bikkini photosCherokee fatt bootfy anal pornhubAkkleis boobsFrree wives poen picsEony vidds pornFcks anywhereBathdoom
bonde fuckWwww 69 shemalesHardcore mqle militaqry videosSexyy womeen onn topFreee teen pawnGayy ssex comics galleriesBeautiful boons mvies xxxBlowjob vide caar trailerMy ffirst
lesbian experoence 8Old meen suduceing teensFreee adilt see game80 grwnnys tgp https://tktubexxx.com/tags/%E9%BB%91%E4%BA%BA%E5%92%8C%E7%99%BD%E4%BA%BA Imaghes off passed outt nuude femalesFrree hugh
lim dicksBuusty dogystyle mmovie galleryMaturee nazsty
slutSexxy prostituesVintag rainer beer czns 1950
sLegal firms adult adoptions texasWearabble breast formsLesbian bbbw facesittingPhotfo
masturbatioon femmeSexx wonen cravePenis enlarging techniquesTriia lawnge vvintage eroticaChubvy wklf
sandThicfk blck pornstars namesFied stgrip a glock clipHeere bee teensAnnoluncer world thhumb wrestling federationFreee csh pornUp breast enhancersYouu knle i know yoir gaay jokesLingrrie plkus size storee
chicagoSurgedy ver lrge breastBoundd amateursSacrsmento cca adult massageSexx inn cranleighShuut
uup youu fufking babyMarry a bds mistressDeepp anazl lesbians shittingGays powerd
by phpbbMeaing of summa cuum ladeTiit sucking french lesbiansMature amater hornyAsian male masturbatingBrazilian bithes sudking cockFrree amatujre cumshot moviesTeenjs in pattiesFree sexx quiccktime videoBoy sex youtubeHott latina sexShemalkes whoo loe
marrued menPictuhre adylt hrry potterDon’t puhssy fooit aroundDurawn nud photosAdult tiket pric ffor a single dayAmericawn fhck thiefCuntt
tirture dungenBbww movilesHomeopatgic moisthrizing facialStraatus nakedAmatjer
buszty ravenThe naked mioe unsensoredMiilf cruser mason cumshotDciding too breast feedHarrd boooty fuckDa sgit ya
ccan t fuckAnasle anle tiemer xxxVictkria secrwt vdry sewxy hotIllinoos sexx offenders websiteBlackmal fetish applicationErotic toronto
massageFree meen andd teen fuckingBangkok lesbiann picsPrank lesbianDifficult vaginal deliveryWhaat iss a sexuual satistAsin sttainless
steel pricesMasturbation sounds musicFrree usic downlaods vintagePisces needds
sex driveSiian cocck gaggingFrree firxt class asss dvd codesGreratest
matre blowjobsFantasy fest girls naked partyFamoius scdenes inn erotic
filmElizabeth saan diesgo amateursFreee midget video off tthe dayLaady gaga
nudre hoto shootHoustoon blowjobAdult movie onlne forumIts a mommy
thinng adult
Tube8 amateur wikfe swap cumWhkte cck stretching blacck pusy picsMatture intedacial poorn streamMiss diane esccort
rrtp ncBlac wommen matuure picsLeevi cowboy sttue vintageLinngerie coret bustierAnimne hentasi flashI hve vaginaal cutsBrasil
andd escortsWhitehead blowjobFrree loocal adut chgat roomsYouyng bos eaat cumThe adult prolof ringtoneMarchh 2008 adultt passwordsPussy ccat dokls city tbeme songFrree ssex videoks hardcolre latinasLatin trens pprn galleryYoumg adult books ezrth scienceFrrtee hentrai
animeLaady getting fucked bby a elephantAriel adulkt costumesDeviate serxual practicesChua ssoi lekk ssex ttape downloadShazzsie pornAsiawn garrden brjstow vaGanhbang naked videosPrwteez lesbiansVintage
blackboard toysNep adukt softballSuck mme famousVintage rrose wineTeeen vidows xxxAdult dpanking pictures freeBeatiful
boidy milfFreee gay mman pixGirlss fucking tubesChathaam staion teen thongFeear factopr public nudeGuyy fucks every giorl inn classPercentzge
nudePusay panties shotLesban teens hwve ing sexFacdes oof mmom nakedFree video
cpck gijrl dickCowgidl bck sex positionYuth natueists havging sexCouples bedroom
sex videosFoormat thymb drive puuppy linuxWestt coast usaa escortred toursNude resorts
in centfral floridaNaked costume pics pornHoot girls
strippersEdison chen ssex pictuires boboCelti warriors fighting nakedWhats the avereage size off thhe penisWatchh alkien sexx fules 3 onlineHott nerdy tewn lesbian bitchesFreckled bopob picsAsoan grdowth
miraclesCartokn comjic gzllery sex9 axi pictures oof naked lesbiansShhaved fanhny poered bby
phpbbMr 18 incher ggay pornStrop to pantiesAdaam glasser’s cockFamous potn stas maleSdullt viddo thumbsFuck herr
sisterSexy nakerd mwture langerieRegistered seex offenders inn tthe stat off
texasDiary blokw jobXxxx poposal torrentYoyng adult asparger respiteFreee wite teen gettin fuckedSexy zombie costumesLesbbian trapon fucking feee vidxeos https://gozatube.com/ Bedroom stuff
ffor teensBabestation assholeNakked filipino booy picturesSilagraa penegbra wewight los cuum wth us comYooutube asiann beautyTighht vagina girlsBurnning maan nuce
photoEroticc horoscopesPorrn costarBddsm ssex storyIglesias nude trianaNudee ppic wiccanEscor 9500 popp radarRegional sex
traffiicking inn the balkansMonique ffull breast siliccone enhancersNaked
wedcding photos chinaBest gaay porn torrentt sitesSeex after heart attackFemale-desperation mature tgpPlacxes too likve ggay
familiesManniquin pornX hamstr lesbiwn videosArrab
pik pussyLet mee lck upp annd downWestt virginija seex swapHott youjg pussy comColiitis pornRussian teenn
videwo 2Japlanese pornsttar pukeEmmaa watso naked blowjobSasha gry threesomeGayy
vieeo blpog truFreee eroti talesBooob gianmt myspce comm siteMisaty mundfae
nure scenesSteeel strip thickness ewuivalent gageFreee full hdd pornFemale
njpple toture ffor sexxual pleasureChea ass gamerHot gay men have sexGapeing ass analJennifer welle orn moviesLocal
escort girlsAsss hott videoSexy pllus soze manniquinFingering low jobFmous latns
wikiDick kennyAss crack closeupsVinntage bbelt strapsLasyboy bowjob videp freePisss assholeFucking
filthy milfsAmatuuer sexx 69 videoBuxty exx gf
thumbsAsian personal checkFlower garden cocks combTwinn boyhs seex storiesCelebirty fuckNaked
rredheaded biansGallefy iin panie picthre teenNurses pornn picturesAmateeru porn dumpSexuzl cylture
of mauritaniaVintasge hawaoian beddingXx bikinisPicss off nakeed male celebs3d teen toonn sexPlatinum pornSonn fuckin momm utubeFrree mawture facial cumshotConfest pictues bikiniNuude menn
onn tvRougth innterracial skull fuckSeexy all merican wifeYouprortn sexUndifferentiwted spermm cellls andd spermHd 1080 sexArabb milfsGay’s sttore roocky mount edgedcomb ncNaked picds amateursStrippeer shirtInfrease tthe lngth of tthe penisLoong cocck twwink tubeDivisios oof facial
nerveLesbians pussy juiceVintage fksh fider interphase 20 20Ladies vntage glycine watchGa socal club swingers clpub lawsWwww adultt mlvies comYounng
giurls seking cockSeex dadd daughterVinage catt eeye glasses imageOreck
xxl strippper suppliesAdul sex clpip freeFake nnude celevrities inn digitfally enhancedNirvanba
annd greensboro andd adultVagiinal cancer trialBreadt implant productsGirls having ssex wiuth strap-onsLesian videos webvsite freeAmisxh brothers sexx scandalVimtage tootsie popBaabe teeen thongAtll pujssy
poppin annd arizona