Top 10 Things I Don’t Know About Babies

With my first child due this September, it seems that almost every day I learn something new and terrifying about babies and their care. Having grown up with two childless older brothers and no cousins in my life, I have had extremely limited exposure to infants. The depth of my ignorance is astounding – so astounding, in fact, I thought I’d post a list about it.

Be aware that this list contains only a small sample of the things I don’t know about how to care for my offspring, and that even a list of the things I don’t know I don’t know would likely dwarf it.

Enjoy after the jump.

Top 10 Things I Don’t Know About Babies

Thank God I'm not having twins

  1. At what point they can talk
  2. At what point they can walk
  3. At what point they can stand
  4. How to hold them
  5. How to change a diaper
  6. How to stop them from crying
  7. How to block out the crying and get some sleep
  8. How to apply a muzzle
  9. That muzzles aren’t appropriate
  10. What to name one

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