Time To Be A Role Model?

The other day, my wife gently let me know that she was a little concerned with the language I used in my last post. That’s not an MP, I said. That’s a YP.

But then, the next day…

The doctor told us she loved the way my wife’s cervix looked. She used terms like effacement and dilated and etc. She says it should be any day now.

Let me repeat: It should be any day now that I will have a son. Yikes.

Does this change everything? Is it time for me to tone down my language, reconsider some of my actions in the face of becoming a father. Is what was just a few days ago purely a YP now an MP?

Is it time for Dad and Buried to grow up? Can I?

Let’s take a look at the things I’ll need to sacrifice in order to be a proper example for my son.

1 – Swearing
I love to fucking swear. Too much. As social mores have relaxed in the 21st century, swearing has become a lot more casual – on TV, at work, at home, at Starbucks. Swearing isn’t exactly something we worry about around the house; Mom and Buried likes a good f-bomb as much as the next person and it’s not like my cat is about to start mimicking us. And to be honest, neither is a newborn baby. Sure, they say kids can hear your voice and listen to music and all that – and believe me, he’ll be getting his fill of music – but for the first year he can barely tell the difference between his thumbs and a doorknob. Nevermind understand words. I promise I’ll tone down the potty mouth in the years ahead – and honey, I’ll cool it with the “pussyhound” references – but goddamit I’m not going to change my entire personality to please someone I don’t even know yet!

2 – Drinking
It’s true. Gone are the days of weekend benders, all day hangovers, happy hours, Sunday fun-days, tailgating, shotgunning, etc. To be honest, many of those days have been gone for years, but that was a choice. With a kid around, choice disappears. As soon as he’s born, I’ll be forced to cool it on the debauchery. Not only is it not acceptable for me to come home sloshed when my wife’s been dealing with a newborn all day – because God knows a hammered DadandBuried is not equipped to hold a baby; hell, at this point, a sober DadandBuried is a risk! – it’s not ideal to wake up with a screaming headache AND a screaming baby.

3 – Sleeping Around – Sorry, this was for my “I’m about to get married!” freak-out.

3 – Sleeping
Please God, let all my friends and every single doctor and baby book and website and TV show and movie and relative be exaggerating. I’m begging you.

4 – Walking Around Naked
I’m honestly more worried about my nudity scarring my child than the constant barrage of swear words he’ll be absorbing. Unsolicited male nudity is no good for anybody – I’m in my thirties and seeing men naked still shellshocks me at the gym every day. The last thing I need is to worry about warping my child by sporting my birthday suit in his developmental stages.

5 – Not Giving A Shit Crap
I’m a pretty cynical guy. I’ve given my friends with kids tons of crap about sending baby pics around, talking incessantly about their children, becoming totally boring due to having a baby and being entirely too enamored with their son or daughter. But maybe that will change now that I’ll be experiencing this life-changing event myself. Once my son is born, I’ll never not be a father. It will be inseparable from my personality. Now, I’m going to try as hard as I can to hang onto my pre-father self – I am quite certain some of my friends made little effort to do so – but it’s inevitable that some things will change for me. Not all, but some.

And, apparently, throwing around the term “pussyhound” is one of those things.

BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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35 thoughts on “Time To Be A Role Model?

  1. Best thing about you having a kid is that I will try my best to negate all your positive role modeling. (role modeling?) Of course, when I say try, it will just come naturally and there won’t be much needed effort.

  2. For #1 you got about 1.5 years to swear it up good. And #3, I suggest stocking up on the childrens benadryl. I started giving it to my kids at 6 months. Greatest, invention, ever.

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  8. Споры, связанные с лизингом, становятся все более важными, особенно на фоне действующего законодательства России Разногласия между лизингодателями и лизингополучателями могут охватывать множество аспектов договора.
    Важно понимать, что каждый случай индивидуален и требует
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    Причины возникновения споров

    Споры в сфере лизинга нередко возникают по
    следующим причинам:

    Нарушения условий договора;

    Задержек при получении платежей;
    Недостаточного выполнения обязательств со стороны лизингополучателя;
    Расторжения договора без оснований;
    Разных мнений относительно предмета лизинга.

    Последствия нарушения условий договора

    Если договор нарушен, лизингодатель вправе подать требование
    о компенсации убытков. Это
    может включать:

    Неэффективной обработкой платежей;
    Невозможностью получения имущества;
    Реализацией предмета лизинга через аукцион;

    Необходимо понимать, что даже небольшие нарушения могут повлечь за собой тяжелые
    последствия. Согласно законодательству,
    лизингодатели вправе подавать иски против лизингополучателей
    для взыскания убытков

    Ответственности сторон договора

    Каждая сторона договора имеет свои обязанности Лизингодатель обязан передать имущество в надлежащем состоянии, в то время
    как лизингополучатель должен вовремя осуществлять платежи Если договор расторгается,
    следует обратить внимание на следующие вопросы:

    Текущее состояние предмета лизинга;
    Периоды возврата имущества;
    Размер непогашенной задолженности
    по платежам;

    Судебная практика

    Решения судов показывают, что большая часть споров по
    лизингу заканчивается в пользу лизингодателей, особенно при наличии четких доказательств
    нарушения условий контракта.
    Истцы могут использовать разные аргументы для защиты
    своих прав, и успешное разрешение спора часто зависит
    от качества предоставленных доказательств

    Обычно споры в сфере лизинга могут быть продолжительными, что вызывает дополнительные издержки для обеих сторон.
    Поэтому рекомендуется обращаться к опытным юристам, которые помогут эффективно решить проблему http://jseltec.com/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=577487 Итог
    Конфликты, связанные с лизингом, занимают
    значимое место в сфере делового взаимодействия сегодня.

    Осознание тонкостей и специфики этой темы помогает сторонам
    избежать негативных последствий от невыполнения обязательств и успешно
    отстоять свои интересы.
    В случае возникновения споров между лизингодателем и лизингополучателем,
    ключевым моментом остается правильная обработка всех документов и условий договора.
    Важно учитывать, что:

    Каждый инцидент является неповторимым и требует персонализированного
    подхода
    Соблюдение законодательства Российской Федерации является
    обязательным
    Взыскание средств по контракту
    возможно лишь в соответствии с законом
    Улики нарушения условий контракта имеют
    жизненно важное значение в судебных разбирательствах

    Следует подчеркнуть, что лизингополучатель обязан тщательно
    следить за сроками платежей и выполнением условий контракта Несоблюдение этих условий может привести
    к расторжению договора и последующим спорам Лизингодатель
    должен предоставить все нужные документы, которые подтвердят
    его право собственности на актив.
    Таким образом, для эффективного разрешения
    конфликтов по лизингу требуется

    Детально анализировать все обстоятельства
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    Консультироваться с юристами, имеющими опыт в данной
    области
    Собрать все требуемые улики и документы
    Соблюдать все процессуальные нормы при обращении в суд

    Сегодня, когда объем лизинговых операций
    возрастает, важно не только осознавать свои права, но и
    эффективно их защищать. Рассматривая споры по лизингу как часть делового процесса, можно
    минимизировать риски и добиться желаемого результата Непринятие должных мер по защите своих интересов может привести к
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