Let Freedom Sting

Let Freedom Sting

If you’ve been following me on social media, you probably know that I’ve been on my own the past few days.

We were at my parents for the holiday weekend, and while I came back to NYC on Tuesday to go to work, Mom and Buried and the kids stuck around. The kids got to hang with Grandma (consequences be damned) and Mom and Buried was able to get some work done without paying for a babysitter. Or camp.

Meanwhile, I was living the high life, bachelor style! FREEDOM!

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Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Parents aren’t special. Having children doesn’t make you a hero. To paraphrase Furious Styles, any fool can make a baby, it takes a real parent to raise kids.

It also takes a real parent to think horrifying thoughts about their kids. And if that’s the primary criterion by which parenting is measured, I’m pretty sure I’m the world’s greatest dad. Because I’m a horrible person!

For proof, witness this list of terrible thoughts only parents have, and that it’s possible only this parent has, because I’m deranged. But that’s why you love me!

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The Pizza Solution

The Pizza Solution

As a parent, pizza plays a big role in my life.

Every weekend, we have a movie night with my picky five-year-old, and we watch a movie of his choice (please choose Star Wars, please choose Star Wars!) and eat some pie. Already, pizza is being connected to some of his favorite nights, and that’s a good thing.

Many of my childhood memories of food are negative, due to my parents’ unrelenting insistence on making me eat vegetables I despised. But there are a few positive associations, and many of them involve pizza. I mean, how can you have a bad time when pizza is involved?

Please, allow me to feed your #pizzastalgia with this heartwarming story from my youth…

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The Best Things About Flying with Children 

The Best Things About Flying with Children 

The Buried clan spent the last week in Turks and Caicos! (Visit my Instagram page to hear me rub it in your face.)

We had a great trip, made lots of memories, spent way too much money, and got home in one piece. Despite the two flights that book-ended the excursion.

All things considered, the two four-hour flights went pretty well. The Hammer slept (mostly) the whole time, Detective Munch behaved (mostly) the whole time. I didn’t give out any goody bags in a passive-aggressive attempt to stand up for all parents who get hassled on planes. And I didn’t deprive my five-year-old of technology in an attempt to see how long I could go without getting punched.

I did change a blowout at 35,000 feet, which I’m pretty disgusted by/proud of. And that wasn’t even one of the ten best things about flying with children!

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Sleep Deprivation

Sleep Deprivation

You may have noticed that “being tired” is a recurring theme on my blog, because my blog is about parenting, and being tired is one of parenting‘s recurring themes. Yay kids!

I knew – we all knew – that being tired was part of the deal before I had my first kid, and it’s not the tiredness that bugs me. No, my problem isn’t that I’m exhausted, or my constant sleep deprivation; I knew my quantity of sleep would suffer. It’s the quality of sleep I miss the most!

Two kids deep, the little sleep I do get has become a battleground. Every night, there’s a five-year-old in my bed, keeping me awake for no discernible reason, and a baby in my bed, keeping me awake just because he doesn’t want to starve to death!

Together, the little leeches have stolen my sanctuary from me.

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