This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

There are a lot of reasons a parent might want to lighten their load with a little help from their friends, whether said friends be alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, or boarding school. You have kids. You get it. Sometimes you need to relieve some stress. Parenting on drugs is tempting, to say the least.

I haven’t sent my kids away (yet), and I’ve never been much of a pill guy (there but for the grace of God and all). So these days I mostly drink. Kids have a tendency to make that necessary. You’re on Facebook. You get it.

There was a time — way back in college — when I might have done a little more than drink. Lately, now that the stigma is gone and the criminality is going away as well, I’m wondering if it might be time to explore a return to Honalee with everyone’s favorite magic dragon.

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Thanks, Maybe

Thanks, Maybe

The other day, after Mom and Buried mentioned something about Father’s Day to Detective Munch, he responded by complaining about the fact that there isn’t a “kid’s day.”

Have you stopped laughing?

A child asking why there isn’t a kids’ day is like a white dude chanting “ALL LIVES MATTER” or a Meninist existing.

EVERY DAY IS KID’S DAY, JUNIOR.

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Dad and Buried’s Father’s Day Gift Guide

Dad and Buried’s Father’s Day Gift Guide

Father’s Day is next weekend, apparently.

That’s right, I don’t pay much attention to the date, because I don’t care too much about Father’s Day! Don’t get me wrong, Mom and Buried is an amazing gift-giver, so it’s always exciting to see what she comes up with, but I’d trade every gift she’s ever given me for never having to get her anything because my gift-giving abilities pale in comparison to hers and the stress is KILLING ME.

It doesn’t have to kill you, though, because I’m going to help! This year, I have some gift ideas for the dad in your life, with the First Annual Dad and Buried Father’s Day Gift Guide!

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Parenting Survival List

Parenting Survival List

We had our second kid a little more than a year ago.

Having a baby around, after being five-plus years removed from that part of the process, was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done required some quick re-learning of some forgotten skills.

Thankfully, it was a bit like riding a bike. Riding a shit-stained bike through an obstacle course of crumbs, toys, and instantly outgrown onesies while totally exhausted to the point of hallucination, but a bike nonetheless.

So far, we’ve managed, but not without my parenting survival list.

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Positive Traits My Kids Got From Me

Positive Traits My Kids Got From Me

This blog isn’t exactly known for its positivity.

If I’m not (facetiously) trashing my kids, I’m (facetiously) trashing myself, or I’m (facetiously) trashing other parents. What can I say, trashing things is fun!

To paraphrase Shakespeare, every once in a while, I come not to bury, but to praise. Today, I’m looking on the bright side, and sharing some of the positive traits I’ve passed down to my two sons.

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