16 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies No comments

Diamonds are Forever

My son’s first crush has reared its head.

There’s a girl in his kindergarten class that he’s constantly pretending to marry. I don’t know if his proposal involves an engagement ring, he has no money, and he may not even know about that part of the ritual yet. But I’m pretty sure he’ll learn about it soon.

Because despite an ancient screenplay I wrote that flipped the script by having girls propose to guys with an “engagement watch,” odds are the diamond ring will maintain its hegemony for at least another generation or so. So he’d better start saving now!

Read more about Diamonds are Forever …

01 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 3 comments

Kids Change Everything

Everyone is always talking about how having kids changes your perspective on things.

They say that when you experience life through the eyes of your innocent children, you appreciate the little things so much more. And I suppose it’s true.

But kids change everything in your life, not merely the way you look at it.

22 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 3 comments

Don’t Be Afraid of Parenthood

Referring to the months leading up to the Hammer’s arrival as “stressful” is a massive understatement.

I was out of my mind with anxiety, from worries about future restrictions on money and and sleep and time, to concerns about both the baby’s and Mom and Buried’s health, to wondering how I would possible survive the post-delivery ban on sex, my mind was overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty.

Now, of course – exactly as I kept telling myself it would be all along (to little avail) – everything is fine.

10 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in Future 2 comments

Baby Item Wish List

My wife’s friends are throwing her a sprinkle, which is both the name of a smaller, not-your-first-kid baby shower and a word I will spend the rest of my life trying to avoid saying.

As one does when generous friends plan to ease the stress and expense of preparing for a major life-changing event, my wife has started a registry. I have not seen this registry, and I may never see it. I may even be fabricating the fact that she even started one. I haven’t been paying attention.

Regardless, I decided to write a baby item wish list of things I think we need for baby #2, some of which are obvious, some of which are outlandish, and a few of which don’t actually exist.

The No-Can-Do Kid

Usually when I watch my son stumble around, I’m amazed at how little he can do. I mean, yeah, he’s only five-years-old, but it’s incredible to see all the basic, rudimentary human activities that he is unable to complete, or even truly comprehend.

I love my son, and lately his behavior has (slightly) improved and he’s being (slightly) less of an asshole so I’m (slightly) more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, in many cases, it’s not his no-can-do attitude so much as his no-can-do age.

With that in mind, I’ve tried to change my perspective and look at his deficiencies – like the inability to do two things at once, or to not get food in his hair, or to take a shower – as adorable and charming.

Dad and Buried

Category: Money

Diamonds are Forever

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Kids Change Everything

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Don’t Be Afraid of Parenthood

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Baby Item Wish List

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The No-Can-Do Kid

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