VEXing Me

VEXing Me

Parenting forces you out of your comfort zone.

I am constantly being pushed into things I don’t want to do, and sometimes I’m even the one doing the pushing. My kids’ happiness has become my first priority, and so suddenly I’m building a playhouse in the backyard, or I’m forced to host a sleepover. Or I find myself getting my son a complicated toy I know Detective Munch would enjoy but that I need to put together first.

After spending ten hours assembling the thing – during which he mostly just watched – he’d better enjoy it!

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Giveaway: Allergy Relief from Venta Airwashers

Giveaway: Allergy Relief from Venta Airwashers

Sometimes you just get lucky.

In my ongoing attempt to become the primary destination for parents who want to talk shit about their children, I am occasionally afforded some fun opportunities from brands who have a sense of humor or who haven’t actually read my blog. I got to participate in a photo shoot with Dove Men+ Care, I’ve written about some cool products, I’ve even been on a podcast or two. (Not lately though, AHEM!)

Every now and again, someone will reach out with an offer that seems to have little connection to my blog or even my life, like when a company that makes air purifiers asked me if I’d like to try one of their products.

You wouldn’t think such a thing was necessarily in line with my content, and normally it wouldn’t be. But as “luck” would have it, Detective Munch had just gotten some bad news from the allergist…

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Friday Night Yikes

Friday Night Yikes

A few years ago, I wrote a post in which I declared that my son would never play organized football due to the health risks. When it ran on The Huffington Post this past fall, I got some angry comments.

So I was a little surprised when the people at the Esquire Network (check your local listings!) reached out and asked if I’d be interested in writing about the second season of their TV show about youth football in Texas, “Friday Night Tykes.”

I agreed, and have since viewed the first two episodes of the season (the third airs tonight at 9PM EST on Esquire Network). Has my opinion changed?

The short answer? Not one bit.

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Fathers and Gums

Fathers and Gums

If you’ve read my blog before, you might not expect me to write a post about my favorite moments as a father. (Even though I already have.)

After all, most of my posts are about the stuff that sucks about being a dad. But that’s all strategy. Like the Cassius Clay of the dad bloggersphere, I lull readers to sleep with angry complaints about my son and parenting and toddlers, only to suddenly sting like a sentimental bee!

Admit it: the optimistic, sappy stuff carries a lot more weight when it comes from a pessimistic, cynical jerk like me. So I parcel it out at key moments, to ambush you and your tear ducts. Usually I reserve the sap for my son’s birthday, like this embarrassment from a few years back. But as Father’s Day approaches, my friends at Oral-B and Life of Dad asked me to write something about the #PowerofDad, so I thought I’d grit my teeth (get it? Teeth? ORAL-B!) and get ‘er done.

So here comes a bunch of crap I like about being a dad. None of which includes brushing my son’s teeth because holy Jesus that’s a nightmare.

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Review and Giveaway: Dino Construction Company

Review and Giveaway: Dino Construction Company

If you ask my toddler to list his favorite things on earth, after he says Mommy and Frozen and “cracker parties” and Grandma and probably mutters a few gibberish words and mentions his lovey and then cries and screams for a little while and then maybe says some foods like bacon and pizza, I’ll bet he’ll finally announce that it’s “trains!”

But then, if you ask for his favorite things besides trains, he’ll say “baseball!” And after that, after you’ve spent a few more fruitless minutes trying to get him to respond the way you want him to respond so your stupid intro to your stupid blog post will fall into place, you’ll give up and grab a beer. And that’s when he’ll go off and play with his trucks and pretend he’s a dinosaur because he loves those things too even if he refused to cooperate.

In fact, he might even go play with his trucks and pretend to be a dinosaur at the same time, because now he can, with the Dino Construction Company!

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