The Parenting Perks of New York City

The Parenting Perks of New York City

This morning, my wife texted me in a panic because she couldn’t find her membership card to the Staten Island Children’s Museum she wanted to visit with our kids.

Later, she texted me a photo of my 7-month-old at a museum, putting some filth-ridden toy in his mouth, the goofy idiot. I texted back, both to insult my son for being a goofy idiot and to ask at which museum she’d ended up, because I knew she’d never found her membership card.

I also knew that didn’t matter. Because we live in New York City.

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Back To School Concerns

Back To School Concerns

This weekend marks the unofficial end of summer, and, the return of back to school season. You’re probably knee-deep in it already, as New York is kind of late. Detective Munch doesn’t start until next week.

It’s finally time to say goodbye to leisurely mornings in which I don’t have to scream at my son to put his shoes on and then sprint to the bus stop. Of course, as my son enters the second (!!) grade, I have much bigger concerns than getting out of the house on time.

What are they? I’m glad you asked!

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Stupid Parenting Controversies

Stupid Parenting Controversies

Parents get up in arms about all sorts of things.

It makes sense. Our kids are important to us, so things that affect them are important to us too. But so many parenting issues grow contentious as initial feelings of concern become loaded with judgment and superiority. The next thing you know, there are full-blown controversies over how other people are raising their kids.

I do my best not to get involved in those stupid parenting controversies.

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Paranormal Parenting Activity

Paranormal Parenting Activity

Being a parent is scary, mostly because children are terrifying, and not just in that nightmarish “standing silently next to your bed in the middle of the night” kind of way…

All sorts of crazy, unpredictable, and unbelievable things happen when you have kids in your life. (You know what they say: Parenting is like a box of chocolates, NOT ALL OF THAT IS CHOCOLATE OMG DON’T EAT IT!)

Not all of it makes sense.

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The Great Escape

The Great Escape

Work sucks.

I like my job, I love my boss, but it’s still work. And work sucks! Especially when the alternative to work is a hanging with friends all weekend, or being on vacation, or enjoying retirement, or simply lying on the couch binge-watching TV shows.

But when the alternative is staying home with the kids all day? Work is the great escape.

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